How do i stop abusing physically and mentally the people I love?

maybe you should seek anger management. You might have a problem controling your anger and maybe going to those classes and talking to someone would help you find better ways to control your anger.

i hope you don't find this offensive but you need to seek out professional help, asap....

You answered your own question. You need to stop.
If you know it is wrong than you are in control.
There fore stop.

there is no excuse for your behavior. it's shocking and repulsive. why your boyfriend (and others) tolerate it is beyond me. don't you feel sad and ashamed when you see the damage you have done, both physically and emotionally? i don't understand why you even asked what you need to do. there is no magic cure. it's obvious. JUST STOP!!

You think?

I would be depressed too if the love of my life treated me like that. You need to seek help before you lose all those you love. Good luck!

Well if that happened to me all the time, yeah, I'd probably pout and be depressed all day. I just wonder how people's answers on this question would be different if you were a man saying this? Methinks the double standard would come to the forefront...

Think about this for a minute. If your husband leaves you for a woman who treats him well, who loves him and shows him the affection he needs and deserves, would you be offended or hurt? Think about how you would feel. If he means anything to you, please get the help you need. Find an anger management group or even talk to your family doctor and see who he can recommend. I bet it would do wonders for not only your marriage but how you feel about yourself. Good luck!

I am interested in knowing what reasons you have, what specifically drives your anger to this point?

Obviously you need help! And obviously you and your husband need time apart for his own safety. What you are doing is totally wrong and quite frankly you are lucky your husband does not report you for abuse. Try get some help.Start with your doctor and they will point you in the right direction. :)

I think that there's different ways in which one can get help. First, were you physically abused as a child yourself? Second, did your mother abuse your father? Third, is there a possibility that you might have bi-polar or some other disorder. You might want to go to either WebMD, or certain other websites, that has signs, symptoms, even questionaires about what constitutes certain conditions. If you could take certain medication (s), go through some behavior therapy classes, keep the man in your life, and feel happy, then this would all be a very good investment.

Also, perhaps others during the day have made you mad, and you're inadvertently striking out at your husband, but are actually angry at somebody else - and feel helpless to do anything about it.

Even though you could have either stressors, or even chemical issues contributing to the situation that you've described, you still have to claim ownership of the situation, as something that you need to resolve.

Sometimes it's easier to accept things, than other times. For example, I realized that I had OCD whenever I was able to watch the show "MONK", and verbally correct the mistakes that they were making - such as how they didn't have the character MONK properly cleaning a telephone, for a person who supposedly has OCD! Now, that's a problem.

Regarding my ADHD: that was also by what was going on around me. I had gone online to pay bills, decided to check my e-mail, looked at certain news stories, checked out a few adult websites, went back to news stories and e-mails, and so on. Then, whenever I was again checking e-mail, an advertisement for medication for ADHD came up on the right-hand side of my screen: it seemingly "spoke" right to me: the question it asked went something like this - you go online to pay bills, you end up checking e-mail, doing so-and-so, etc. - then, end up not even paying your bills - and shut your computer down with your bills still unpaid. That's the story of much of my adult life!

If I had actively seeked help earlier, given the symptoms, and done other research, I would probably have had a much more stable work history, and would have provided better for my family. I can't change the past. I've accepted ownership of it. Now, I take medication and see a behavior therapist - along with going through various books and workbooks, etc. The bottom line: my life actually got better - by what seemed like random events.

You might also want to own up to things with the man in your life. Perhaps find ways to help out his self esteem. I've been hit by more than one woman - it makes a guy feel as if he has a 1" ****** or something - NOT GOOD! Whenever you start your own personal healing, you might also want to work on relationship healing, along with doing things to build up the man in your life: it doesn't always come down to the penis, but the esteem a guy has after a woman's hit him a few times (or more), certainly makes them feel as if they have a tiny penis - and not very valuable as a person.

Also, there might be hormonal or other medical conditions as well. Be VERY CAREFUL about how you go about getting help, as law enforcement might try to get involved if they think that you pose an immediate danger to your husband, or others. Perhaps you could start off with a highly confidential setting - then use it as a springboard to getting testing done, treatment, medication, whatever. If you approach the "wrong person", they could just get freightened and try to have you locked up in the slammer or a mental institution or something. Just make sure that the person whom you go to for help is actually there to help YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

i think u need to leave; or he needs to kick u out, either one. that is part of the cure.

the other part is working a program of stopping abuse, these organizations are usually listed in the phone book.there are also support groups available.

a former abuser once said that it helped them to stop when all of their friends and family disapproved out-spokenly, instead of turning a blind eye and denying their friend/relative was doing wrong.

......then, in the future, a new relationship would have a good chance!

Simply think that if your beloved one leave you then you will realize their worth. Love them do not abuse.

I think you need to find a psychiatrist and just sit down and spill your guts. You might have a disorder, but that's ok. Most all disorders these days are treatable. A psychiatrist will know how to diagnose you properly if diagnosis is needed. You may just need someone to vent to, which is what it sounds like to me.

Venting is good if you can be mature about it while doing it.

Abuse isn't something you do....it is who you are...I am sorry to say...I was in an abusive marriage...I went through over 4 years of counseling....I learned a lot....

Anger management isn't going to fix your problem....Somewhere along the line, you saw abuse, or experienced it....and now, it's the way you choose to solve your issues....(of course, it only adds to your issues, and doesn't actually solve anything)....

Have you ever been tested for a personality disorder? I don't know if you know it, or not...but with Borderline Personality Disorder (more common in females)....often, there is abuse in the relationships of patients with this disorder...Trying to control your partner is also a symptom....as well as impulsive/compulsive behavior.....intense, but unstable inter-personal relationships.....Are you afraid to be alone (deep down)....yet, you tend to do things that would naturally push people away?

Your husband doesn't deserve this treatment....and you need to get help....there's no "quick fix" here....it's going to take a lot of hard work, unlearning abusive tendancies....learning to relate in a loving/nurturing way...

Good luck to you and to your husband.