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How do I stop being a doormat and why do I seem to attract fake friends who use me and back stab me?

I used to work on the same level as my workmates, but since I have been promoted to Supervisor I feel that they have made things difficult for me by being obstructive and I know they are jealous- not just of my job, but also because Im married and they have no man. One in particular is only nice to me when she wants something and Im sure she is backstabbing me. I have been emotionally open with them before and feel this makes it hard for them to accept me as supervisor. I am looking for another job, partly because of the atmosphere and partly because I was pressured to be supervisor as no one else was trained to. I am rubbish at saying no to the boss as she has complete autonomy. She also has a good position locally and people can not stand up to her. People, me included would do what she wanted or she has a way of spreading things about you to others and making you look bad. (It has happened to me before) I really cannot see how I can win in this situation. I have worked there 5 year
Posted 3 months ago
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If you seem to attract fake friends, then it's because you let fake friends cross your boundaries. Ask yourself what it is in you that needs everyone else's approval so much at the workplace that you allow them to walk all over you.

Reassess which people will be most helpful to you in meeting your work goals and concentrate on them. The rest will only be distractions. Also, don't be too quick to reveal how you feel to others. Be civil and pleasant to everyone, but you are under no obligation to let them poke around your personal life. Keep in mind a) why you're working and b) who's paying you to work. The more focused you appear to your subordinates, the more likely they are to see that you mean business and won't take crap from them anymore.

However, if you think that there are more cons than pros to staying in this job, then start anew somewhere else and be more careful about making friends at work next time.

Hope this helps.
Posted 2 months ago

Other 5 Answers to How do I stop being a doormat and why do I seem to attract fake friends who use me and back stab me?


Posted Aug 2nd, 2009 at 5:38PM
maybe you trust people too easy. the way to stop being a doormat is to just stop being a doormat. wake up one morning and think "nah. its not happening today".. only person you can really trust is yourself. Be confident, make some new mates.
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Posted Aug 2nd, 2009 at 6:35PM
YOUR THE SUPERVISOR, DONT LET WHAT PEOPLE SAY BOTHER U,DO YOUR JOB,aGAIN BE THE BOSS DONT LET THEM GET TO U tHEY NEED TO GET USED TO U BEING A SUPERVISOR,JUST LIKE U NEED TO GET USED TO BEING A SUPERVISOR AND THE FACT IS YOU ARE A LEVEL UP FROM THEM START ACTING LIKE IT. pEOPLE WILL ALWAYS TALK AND HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY GOOD,BAD,OR JUST JUST RUDE,IF YOUR DOING YOUUR JOB U WILL PREVAIL U MIGHT BE SURPRISED.
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Posted Aug 13th, 2009 at 8:49PM
You could stand up for yourself. Even to your boss. He may have influence over others but most people who are alert usually know what's really goin on anyways.By not standing up to him you are leaving yourself vulnerable to him, your subordinate coworkers and any other oppportunists which may come along.
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Posted Aug 13th, 2009 at 5:59PM
I had almost the same problem at my job...I ended up quitting and then regretting it. Don't let them bother you..leave your work at work. If they don't like you then oh well....it's their problem not yours. Find friends outside of work and stop letting it get to you because in the scheme of life those people will not matter but you need a paycheck to survive. Flip the script and be happy they are jealous because that means you have something they want and will never have.
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Posted Aug 17th, 2009 at 5:41AM
Learn to say 'No'
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