How do I stop letting him do this to me?

I broke up with my baby's dad two months ago because he refuses to grow up and be a real father. He thinks life is just a game and should stay exactly the way it was before we became parents. Well he says he wants me back and he said over and over he was going to change, but all he does is sit on his ass and play video games instead of looking for a better job. I really love him and I let him suck me back into a FWB ordeal,which I broke off tonight and he got mad...I have been lending him money because without my income he can't buy food for our daughter when she comes to visit or have gas to take her to daycare.He keeps putting it off saying tommrow,later,I'll get to it..but it never happens. I have a very kind and understanding heart, and he's taking advantage of me still even though we are not together. how do I stop myself from allowing this man to do this to me?

Posted 2 weeks ago

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KiwigirlAnj

Best Answer

He may be your baby's biological father, but that don't make him a Dad. He's a little boy, whom your'e enabling to treat yourself and YOUR baby with contempt and disrespect. You'll be so much better off without him.

Posted 2 weeks ago

Other 14 Answers to How do I stop letting him do this to me?

durbanpoison	Posted Nov 3rd, 2009 at 10:50PM sorry... too drunk to read all that... Rated: +2Vote for this!
userina	Posted Nov 3rd, 2009 at 10:53PM have you ever heard about enablers? Rated: +2Vote for this!
Honeybrew	Posted Nov 3rd, 2009 at 10:27PM It seems you deserve better that how you're been treated. Remember that next time he tries to pull that **** again. Pretend he's crack and Just Say No! =P Rated: +1Vote for this!
coloco	Posted Nov 3rd, 2009 at 10:49PM Sorry gal, you need to grow up for all of your sakes. If he is going to grow up it won't be until the alternatives are to much to bear, you need to be able to make a decision and stick to it until conditions are verifiable and changed. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Cigman88	Posted Nov 3rd, 2009 at 10:44PM Apply to the courts for child support and he will either disappear or go to jail. Rated: +1Vote for this!
CrossEyedMary	Posted Nov 3rd, 2009 at 10:23PM And the lesson here is: Be careful who you breed with, cause then you are tethered to them for life, whether through contact or bitter memories. Rated: +1Vote for this!
agh6893	Posted Nov 3rd, 2009 at 10:22PM You have a to step back and ask yourself if you are better with or without him and then be strong enough to accept the answer you come to. If not for you, for your baby. Rated: +1Vote for this!
ukko	Posted Nov 3rd, 2009 at 10:23PM It is time to make a decision. Is your and your childs life better when he is around or it gives you more stress than help? I guess you already know the answer...Sorry but sometimes we have to be tuff ( lovingly )...Think of an example he will set for your child ...move on..and love him from a distance.... Rated: +1Vote for this!
waterdroplet	Posted Nov 4th, 2009 at 1:25AM People usually don't change... Rated: +1Vote for this!
Hunbunnybabe	Posted Nov 4th, 2009 at 1:25AM Sweetie you have to be strong . If not for you then your daughter , she comes first. You say you don't love him. Well kick * honey . Move on go through the courts so he pays towards his daughters up keep . You need to wipe him out and control his access and time he spends with his daughter . Money you give him is money that should be spent on you and her. Wake up kick * your a mother with a child who always comes first . Don't just say its hard. Read are stories we've all had to fight and be strong . Your not alone many of us are here we will help with advice , or just chat when your down . Lol x kick *** sweetie Rated: +1Vote for this!
mocha39	Posted Nov 4th, 2009 at 4:18AM You need to force him to grow up through the court and pls STOP enabling his bad behavior.. Be strong for your baby's sake Rated: +1Vote for this!
porsher	Posted Nov 4th, 2009 at 7:10AM True words CrossEyedMary. Sweetheart-You need to be real strong,this is how its going to be for the rest of your life???? You dont want that hassle,its obvious hes not going to change,how many times as he proved that 2u? Look at yourself and then look at your child...it wont be easy at the start but you already know what to do. Goodluck and God bless. Rated: +1Vote for this!
purpletears	Posted Nov 4th, 2009 at 7:58AM There are many who have walked in your shoes before you. Be strong as many have said and decide. Its hard to know exactly what to say. But if he is not meeting your needs or the needs of your baby then you must decide how you are going to continue. Life will go on. get a family member involved or a close friend or another mom from the daycare. it takes a village to raise a child and that includes you. I hope the best for you and remember you are not alone! Rated: +1Vote for this!
est1987	Posted Nov 4th, 2009 at 2:41PM You may not realise it now, but you would be so much better off without him. You shouldn't have to take care of him as well as your daughter. Until he gets his act together, maybe you should just focus on you and you baby. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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