Call the China Buffet, they will come right over and take care of it for you....Do you like General Tso's Chicken?
Stop annoying it?
Or take it to the vet and see if it has an anxiety problem. Yes, cats are being medicated these days. Watch 'My Cat From Hell' and get some pointers.
Eat it as a taco.
Stop antagonizing it!
watch "My cat from hell" on Animal Planet......and answer these questions-
does your cat have plenty to do? (things to climb? places to sleep peacefully?)
do you play with him? take him on walks?
are there other pets around?
does he get chances to use up energy at night or when he's awake?
that will be
You need to gain its trust by giving it more affection. I had a wild cat once and it took a while. The more love and time you invest the more you will get back. Failing that buy some pliers
You can't , get used to it.
You know it's true !
Don't try to pick it up if it doesn't wanna be picked up. Let it know your lap is available and it should eventually jump up when it actually wants attention. Some cats just don't though.
The next time it scratches you don't feed it for a couple of days. It's amazing how lovey dovey they become when they're hungry.
Then throw him outside. Make it clear who is the boss or accept the fact the cat is the boss.
I suppose you should look in the mirror. Do you have a reflection? Maybe you're a vampire.
Wait I thought cats liked vampires.
Is it defending it's food, playing with you or just being a pain in the asscat?
If it's a kitten bite it back. If it's an adult, good luck. Take it in to get it's nails clipped or declawed. Maybe keep a toy around that you can stuff in it's mouth when it bites you.
A finger flick to the nose when they bite or nib... scratching requires a lil more creativity and would depend upon how they react to the finger flick..
Is the cat unwell? Have it assessed by a vet.
Most cats are affectionate and loving, there must be something wrong here. Is he scared of you, is someone in the home tormenting him??
Please ignore the cruel "answers" you have received. I am appalled personally that anyone would advocate animal cruelty.