Before you tell him or serve him. Get your ducks in line! Get some money set aside and open your own checking account. Start moving personal items out of the house and into a storage space without telling ANYONE! That includes your lover! Do NOT use the same lawyer for both of you! Try and use mediation if you can for property division. Prepare for discovery of ALL assets by the court.
Keep the children OUT of it completely and don't either one of you use the children against one another.
As a survivor of a nasty divorce I implore that you do these things! Even the best breakups usually turn nasty in the end!
By the way, I'm a mediator. LOL
Regarding your new lover; Give yourself time to decompress before you take that one further. You may see him in a different light once you are completely free.
I'm glad you chimed in about the lover part! I saw your response and deleted mine. Great response!!
Well, I guess I've just been there and done that ;)
Well, since you are already cheating it is nearly impossible to fix the problems you have created. It is pretty evident you didn't want to fix things with him because you looked elsewhere. The only honorable thing to do at this point is to be honest and upfront, let him go. Don't let him waste one more minute of his time on someone who doesn't give a **** about him.
Give me his cell #. I'll call him and tell him.
Be blunt, to the point. Totally honest. Resolved. Then walk out the door.
Well, I would advise you to keep your divorce idea on hold. If you are not happy with your marriage find out the reasons? Do you need a fresh lease of life? Are you emotionally and physically dissatisfied? Instead of divorce I would say try out dating. Yes, married dating can help you taking your mind away from it all and see how it goes. Try a site like findnewpassion(dot)com which is for married people looking to date.
You must have have had doubts when you married him a year ago..if you did, WHY THE HELL DID YOU MARRY HIM?!?!. Somehow I think even before you married you were already cheating yes? This poor guy and your poor children deserve alot better...why did you marry him if you're not in love with him?
"I want a divorce"
"I'm sleeping with other people and I don't love you."
That should do the trick.
just tell him, he might want one too and youre not doing him any favors if you stay with him when you dont want to
serve him divorce papers
"Darling we're getting a divorce, you keep the dinner"
- The Gaslight Anthem.