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My best friend is amazing. We've been friends for several years, but recently gotten really close. I have always thought he was good looking and funny, but didn't know if I could actually fully trust him until recently I admitted some stuff that I'd been lying to him about because I was afraid he'd judge me for it. Instead, he told me that it was alright and that everyone makes mistakes. Now I tell him pretty much everything including private stuff because I really like to confide in someone and he won't tell anyone. It just sucks being able to tell him embarrassing stuff that no one else knows about but them not be able to tell him that I like him- a lot. He never has told anyone anything that I've told him and he is super supportive, funny, and cute best of all. I think about him all the time and I really wanna tell him how I feel but I can't risk our friendship. He knows more about me then anyone else. I don't think he's gay and if he is not for me. So how and why do I tell him?
Thebigdog200 Thebigdog200 16-17, M 7 Answers Nov 4, 2012 in Crushes & Obsessions

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like this:"You know, I think my feelings for you go beyond a friendship, but I'm terrified because I dont want to lose our friendship if you dont feel the same"......you have to prepare yourself for a let-down if he says" No, I Iike so-and-so" BUT- he will either say he feels the same, say he values your friendship too much & he doesnt want to risk losing that, say "no, Im gay", or say Wow, I would never have guessed it and change the subject.....and you know? the best relationships start out as friendships! and if he does end up rejecting that idea, say "ok,, let's just forget I said that- & then playfully punch him!

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Be real. Ask him, tell him how you feel. If he stops being your friend then he isn't a real friend. He shouldn't judge you just because your a guy. I will add you to my circle to see if you spoke to him about it and to follow up on you.

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idk ve never had a friendship like that to treasure honestly. But in my mind id like to say that if you were great friends you could survive through a relationship. But i have heard thats easier said then done. IF its not worth losing him then dont it. If you are afarid of asking then ask,.

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That's just what I'm afraid of. I don't know for I could live without this friendship because he gives me advice on really serious issues and we have so much fun together. Idk.

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ask. Just ask whats the worst that could happen? just go with your gut. Don tthink too much. Just ask thatbelly what he has to say about him and the friendship. When in doubt wing it. The first instict is usualy correct.

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Well I almost told him the other night but I just couldn't get it out of my mouth and then he fell asleep. I just don't know if I should tell him. I know that he'd still treat me well and everything, but I feel like something would change in a bad way and I don't want it to. He's so awesome. When I finally admitted that I had done something that people suspected me of doing, I asked him not to tell people. Not only has he not told anyone, he has even tried to convince people that I didn't do it, including his own brother who isn't the best with secrets. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I've never had anyone do something that nice for me before. When he told me that he did that to people who asked him if I had done it or not, all I could saw was "wow" and think how warm and fuzzy it made me feel because you've got to care about someone to do that for them.

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maybe its not worth the risk to tell him. It could ruin the friendship. Or maybe you should tell him. Ask for his advice in a really corny way. just ask what he would do if he was in a position with his best friend.

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Just ask him outright what he thinks about gay people, and if he responds positively, tell him you think you might be gay. Tell him you feel alone on this, and ask him if he's gay. If he says yes, ask him if he has a crush, and that you won't judge him about it or tell anyone. If he says you, tell him then.



If he responds negatively to your first question, he is most likely not gay, and you probably shouldn't tell him anything about that. Just tell him you asked because you're not completely sure how to think about them, but that it doesn't really matter either way.



If he responds positively to your first question, but says he's not gay, then don't tell him what you feel about him.



It's impirtant to note that you're risking a good friendship here. Don't pursue anything other than friendship if he doesn't say anything about liking gays, being gay, and liking you. You two have a good thing going, and it may be better than wondering what would have happened if you had told him, because most of the time, that answer is loosing the person or having an awkward strain on the relationship.

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Well we talk about girls a lot (I like girls too) so I know he's not completely gay if he is at all. We've talked about what if our other friends were gay and he said that he'd think about them differently, but I know that he's still respect me and treat me nicely because he actually had a friend who came out and he's nice to him. When we watch movies he lays right up against me (or on a pillow on top of my lap) and does other gay stuff like this, but I also can't imagine that he wouldn't have told me by now if he really could be bi because we tell each other everything no mater how akward or embarrassing. It's so confusing...

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Here's the good news: you can tell him that you're bi. But if he stops laying on you, he's thinking differently of you. If he doesn't, or asks who you have a crush on without a joking smile or smirk on his face (mocking or joking) or his eyebrows point pointing towards his nose (worrying), then tell him. But if he looks like I've described, he will most likely feel awkward around you, so say nobody. Just remember that this method will take a week at least to see his reaction.

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Not pointing towards the nose, I missed proofreading. I mean making a straight line perpendicular to the nose. You know what worried brows look like. If not, google image search it.

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Well this is what I suspect will happen if I tell him. We'll still be friends, but maybe not as close because it would be awkward for him knowing how I think of him. It just sucks because it would be amazing if we had something more than a friendship together. And it's not like I just want his sexy body either. I actually care about him more than anyone else I can think of so doing physical things in a relationship would be just a bonus. But then that seems like too little of a gain for the risk. I'm so confused!

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If the chance of a relationship is better to you than the friendship, just go for it. I tend to be more careful and judge my next move on reactions, but that's not for everyone. You know how you want to tell him... At the end of the day, happiness is all that matters.

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How about just hinting around, and ask him some questions about who he likes, or see if he gives you any signs. I would not risk losing him as a friend if he didn't feel the same, it will be very akward for him.

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maybe you can try acting girly and wearing girly clothes to attract him.. and say that you are getting girlish feelings when he is around.. n then you can watch his move..

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