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I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Right now I a dating a great girl. We met earlier in the year but she left town for a few months. Now she's back and we started dating and getting serious. I met a really cool person over the summer. We've become friends but we hooked up a couple of times. I told her at the end of the summer/beginning of fall that I just want to be friends and that I am not looking for anything then. This was true for the person I am dating now wasn't back yet and I really wasn't trying to commit then. I knew then that I would not be able to satisfy her emotionally. Since then, we see each other like once or twice a month. We never have relationship chats though when we hang out. Last weekend we went out to dinner and I could tell she really wanted to come home with me and I walked her to the train for us to part ways for the night. I don't want to lose her as a friend but I need a sly way that won't hurt her feelings? Suggestio
cowboyspikespeigal cowboyspikespeigal 26-30, M 4 Answers Dec 11, 2012 in Crushes & Obsessions

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I don't think there's a way to for her to nonchalantly accept that you're already committed emotionally to somebody else. Whether the two of you were "officially" an item or not, it's still going to hurt the poor thing!<br />
I'm sure it'll suck to tell her, but you really don't have a choice.<br />
I doubt you'd lose her as a friend completely, but it's very likely that she won't want to see you/talk to you all too much in the immediate future. If it was a friendship that was meant to be, it'll persist.<br />
Best of luck bud.

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Thanks, boss! Your feedback is much appreciated!

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Any suggestions on how to put it? Maybe casually saying, "So I've started getting serious with someone..." --- What do you think of that as the icebreaker?

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I appreciate the fact that you appreciated and answered all the comments you got. Also, you're into Cowboy Bebop, which in itself speaks volumes about your great taste :D
If you were clear from the beginning that you had no romantic intentions toward this girl, then it should be as easy as simply mentioning the girl you're going out with right now. You just have to tell her, you don't have to justify anything else since you told her what you were willing to take part in from the start of your friendship.

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There's no easy answer. Tell her, don't tell her, continue to see her, or don't see her anymore...whatever you do, be kind to her. You can do that, can't you?

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Yes. I want to keep her as a friend. I know I can think of something eloquent. I guess I don't want to deal with hurt feelings...no one does ---- she will feel hurt....*sigh*

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Well, you may have to accept that you might lose her as a friend...such is life sometimes.

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Yes, it is...Thank you!

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Ain't no thang, puddy tat ;)

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I'm not offering you any "sly" methods.

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I ran out of characters. I meant a way to be honest but not hurt her terribly. I feel like I just need to say it and get done with it before it drags out.

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Just say the honest truth. Sometimes, that's better than sugar coating something. In the end she may stop waiting on you and have her eyes open to someone else.

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Thanks!

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