instead of justifying what you're doing - or arguing, just say nothing.
"you know what you ought to do...blah blah blah blah"
*stare without comment*
let them be uncomfortable. say nothing.
I wish I could do the same...my father is so critical when it comes to my daughter who is also in the autism spectrum, she has aspergers and o.d.d. She is 15 and have had a hard life but my father just thinks she is trouble....I tell him she is not trouble, she is troubled! He doesn't even consider her to be his own granddaughter and that angers me! He cannot accept her!
yeah, when it comes to my dad I try not to argue because its like talking to a brick wall...I just wish that he would accept her as she is, she is still his granddaughter!
yeah its sad...my dad says that my daughter needs to be "institutionalized"....he will go on to say that there is no help for her, when really she has alot of service providers working with her in her behavioral issues. It is alot harder to do, than just brush off his comments and shrug off what he has to say, because his words can sometimes be very hurtful! She thinks her own grandfather doesn't like her. How does that make a child feel? I resent my father for that.
Don't talk to them or tell them to **** off.
If you want to be direct - just say no to them. If you want to be polite, say something came up and you aren't available.
She can't move there unless you allow her.
Hope venting has helped somewhat. :)
Claim your space from them.
Try "thank you for your concern, but I have to handle this myself."
If you can distance yourself that would be the best. If not then let them blabber on don't answer, don't give them a reaction and do as you please. What they are doing is trying to control you. If they don't get the reaction they want is wont be as much fun for them.
People in general have a need to avoid facing themselves. Rather then look inside they try to control others. It makes them feel justified. If each one of us were completely honest we would discover that many things about us need fixing. We all have large ego's after all. It can be a painful process learning this and the way in which we fight back is to "project". As long as we are controlling and telling others what to do we can feel satisfied that we are ok. Therefore eliminating any need to work on us.
You can continue to be a nice person, nice does not equate with being stepped on. I had to learn this myself. I got lots of help from a book...........The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. It is available online in pdf.