I went through same thing about five years ago. I started focusing on myself and making my life all about me and doing nice things for myself. And also it just takes time..I didn't start to feel better over night.. Staying busy helps and staying busy doing things that you enjoy doing or finding something you've always wanted to do but haven't and trying something new. Get out around girlfriend and other people help, as well.
learn to love yourself is probably a step in the right direction
It's hard to let go of a lot of things that come up right after a break up. It happens to everyone. The way you handle it is very important. You want to allow your self to heal. It's especially difficult after you've been mentally abused/manipulated. <br />
Focus on yourself right now and you'll eventually realize how much damage you've allowed this person to inflict on your self. You will become stronger and will attract people that will treat you the way you deserve.<br />
Take care and good luck :)
his abuse issues are his and not yours, he is gone now, the past no longer exists unless you let it exist, nothing can be changed, no sense dwelling on the could haves and the who's and why's. Be 100% honest with yourself.. Today is a whole new day, and tomorrow is another, make each day a little better then the day before... pick a goal that means a lot to you and pour yourself into it. good luck, be well =)
Have you consider taking up a new sport (tennis, racketball, salsa dancing, ball room dancing, fishing) anything to get you out and about meeting new people and making new friends. You just have to be active about staying on the move. Try something you may not have consider doing in the pass. Cooking classes, a wine tasting club, a dance club, or a amater acting group-- even a community college non-credit course in interior design, clothing design, and etc. Just keep busy and be around people--especial a new group of people. <br />
I wish you the best.
All you can do is accept it. What happened could not have happened any other way, and it happened for a reason. You gained the experience, you know something new about yourself, namely what is NOT a relationship you want to be in, now move on and use it to find the relationship that you DO want to be in.
I don't think there's any particular way to get over a break up(unless you're the one doing the breaking up). You just have to take it one day at a time and let it run its natural course. It's going to hurt for a little while, and you'll definitly feel alot more alone but you'll make it if you just push on through. Your mind and body will naturally heal over the next week or so. Take it one day at a time.
my last nasty break up i found something to do to better myself. i go running, workout, read, dance, go out with people i know who care about me. establish a support group ( a group of people you trust and don't bring him up) it made me feel better about myself and what i could do. i came to realize that i was better off without him. Any important relationship is always going to have a sting after a breakup, but it will get better just give it time.
One thing you could do, is write a goodbye letter.
Every thought in your head! It will be a mess. All your thoughts will be incoherent to anybody else.
That's fine. Every thing that he did, made you feel, made you suffer! EVERYTHING!
This will take more ink and paper than you realise. Good!
Once you think that you've logged every incident. See if you can make a letter from it. Don't post it. This is just your goodbye letter.
I hope this helps.