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Do you still do favors for them and answer their calls or do you move on completely and ignore them?
blindbob blindbob 26-30 9 Answers Oct 21, 2012 in Family Struggles

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no, you do not do them favors anymore. That would not be fair to you. If they are making you unhappy and you need to change, then it may be best to move on. If something changes... then you can make a decision then... but for now... no. don't waste your time.

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it's my dad... he's still as nasty and cruel as ever, especially to my mother, but he's too ill to beat us up anymore. these days, he needs money to pay his bills and someone to take him to the doctor's office for his appointments and cook him meals.

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this may sounds like a dickish thing to do... but it may be negotiating time. You have the right to do what you want to do in your life, and its your decision, but you can also say how you want to be treated, and then decide if you want to continue being nice to someone like that. If you say what you want its THEIR decision and THEIR life what they decide to do with it. :) Tough situation... very tough... but I hope you figure something out with it :)

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i had my blowout moment with him years ago and decided i was done with him, but i heard he had a bad fall recently and i started feeling sorry for him--until i heard him talking his usual crap about my mom who went to go see him and take him to the clinic.

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/shakes head... yeah man... I really don't blame you for feeling that way.

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There is a difference between someone who won't stop and can't stop. If they won't then you need to leave. If they can't help themselves, then you need to realize that as leave. Nobody should put up with abuse. You need to change in order for your situation to change. When you change your perspective, then you will be able to forgive someone.

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If they have to continue hurting me = then what is the point being with them or even forgiving them.

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If its someone you live with or are married to you have to leave. You have to realize you did not deserve this. Just be done with them. They don't deserve to be treated well by you, and you are wasting your time thinking they will be there for you.

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Forgiveness is letting go of the pain, but doesnt necessarily mean to "forget" what happened. You don't need to do any favors, but should move on with your life. Mor elike staying away from trouble, at the end of the day, it's up to you and how you feel.

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yeah, i really want to forgive him but he makes it hard. he's just as nasty as ever to everyone. he's made enemies of everyone--his church, his family, friends.

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You can't. If they cannot change, they should not be forgiven.

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