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How do you break it off when you know it's the right thing to do but you really love him?

Guess I should explain. We connected online and started as friends, but I've fallen in love with him. He seems to care very much for me, but I'm having a hard time telling whether he just wants to be friends or he's in love with me too. I should also mention that he's married and lives in another state. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but I don't want to hurt his wife, his family, or him, and I don't want to get hurt either.

Posted 4 months ago

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BadPuppy

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I might be able to help with that. I love all of my exes. I'm not IN love with them, but I don't believe that true feelings of love ever fully go away. Some people claim that they do, but I think they are lying to others and themselves. Even if you discover that your significant other is evil, you still have feelings for the person that you THOUGHT (s)he was.

I still talk to all of my exes, and it's not a big deal. We both know that we can't be together. That doesn't mean that we can't appreciate each other's friendship.

Anyway, If you think he may feel the same, then have a mutual break up. Admit to one another that you both care for each other very much as people, but you both agree that you are just not meant to spend life with one another. It's okay to still be friends.. really. I suggest not being "friends with benefits" though. It almost always brings strong desires that can't be filled.

If he doesn't agree, and thinks that you are meant for one another, I suggest that you point out your differences. If you know that it's the right thing, you must have a pretty strong case why you feel that way.

Just my opinion.

Posted 4 months ago

Other 8 Answers to How do you break it off when you know it's the right thing to do but you really love him?

loyaldude	Posted Sep 13th, 2009 at 8:50PM Love and breaking up are two separate entities. You can love many people at the same with different variations of love. Breaking up is a matter of mental and physical health. Don't let your emotions run your life. Let the logic and brain power set you in the right path. Rated: +3Vote for this!
crackalot11	Posted Jul 1st, 2009 at 12:14AM Every response for relationship questions involves this one answer. I've used it every time and it never fails. 1) Find some courage 2) Figure out what you want 3) Tell him 4) Ask him how he feels 5) Trust him Rated: +2Vote for this!
denverguy	Posted Jun 30th, 2009 at 6:50PM The longer you stay in the relationship the more missed opportunities you will have to find your soulmate. Rated: +2Vote for this!
Raylynn	Posted Jul 1st, 2009 at 3:31PM I ask you as a wife to a man that says he is involved with someone he met on this site please walk away from him. If you are having feelings beyond a "friend" it isn't healthy for you or him. Please don't hurt his family. Rated: +1Vote for this!
nicegirl2024	Posted Jun 30th, 2009 at 2:10PM I can say, I may not have loved this person (my ex)but it was way better to be without them than with them. Just too much and if you are in something that is hurting or causing you grief, walk away, I didnt and waited 10 years and finally did it and yes it is hard and depressing at times but that is how it was with him as well..I could never change him to what he should have been so I had to leave it alone. They say people change, but he would have never changed. Rated: +1Vote for this!
MistressEtienne	Posted Jun 30th, 2009 at 6:52PM My boyfriend and I have already agreed that if we do break up, it will be mutual! We love each other so much, but have several obstacles to face. We both know that we would always love each other! To me, that makes it not so painful. We have talked about it many times, because we almost done it! But we both keep deciding not to. Rated: +1Vote for this!
sexyslimsolid	Posted Jul 1st, 2009 at 1:17PM well if you really love him why do you want to leave him? but if you're doing whats best for you leave him and you'll get over it i guess Rated: +1Vote for this!
singer1960	Posted Jul 1st, 2009 at 11:10PM Make it quick.....And no matter what...Break it all off.....Or you will get hurt... If you love him....and he is married....Then nothing good will ever come of it.....You...his kids...and his wife WILL get hurt.....Break it off NOW....and Do not do it again Rated: +1Vote for this!

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