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I've been dating my current girlfriend for two years now. I am only in the relationship still because I am afraid she will hurt herself. She's done things that have killed my feelings for her, but I'd feel guilty if she did hurt or kill herself because of me. She's tried to kill herself before, but her mom found her (thank god) and brought her to the hospital. This was last year when she spend all my rent money on drugs. I was done with her, but she pulled me back in with this desperate attempt. How do I break up with her without her killing or hurting herself?
RDragonfly RDragonfly 22-25 15 Answers May 31, 2010

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Ah..This is really hard. You shouldn't have to be with someone just because they are threatening you like this...<br />
She sounds like this is for attention, although she doesn't act like it. She probably has some sort of mental disorder, in which she is afraid of being abandoned. Break up with her softy. Tell whom ever she lives with to watch her! (Maybe her mother?) and if she tried to kill herself, threatens you on the spot CALL THE POLICE. They WILL do something about it. I know someone who threatened to kill himself, and they put him in a mental hospital and he got the help he needed!

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This is a controlling tactic........... no easy way out............If she were to kill herself you can not blame yourself.<br />
To be held hostage to the idea of someone killing themselves is just another form of blackmail.<br />
The best thing is to escort her to a mental health center and stay long enough to know she is in good hands.<br />
Let the psychologist know the situation is and what you plan to do and ask them how to achieve what you want without pushing her over the edge

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I am 14 yrs old and my boyfriend is 17. We have been together for about a year and a half. Sometimes I feel he can be controlling. I'm not sure this is my first b/f. He doesn't want me to wear certain clothes, talk to guys at all or go out with my friends, even if my mother is there, he gets insecure. He doesn't want to go out with his friends, and he's always scared I'm going to leave him. ( he doesn't have a mom, just a police officer dad, who is an alcoholic) . Last weekend I told him I wanted a break because he's too insecure and controlling. I've never even held another boys hand. He started freaking out and pulled out a gun. He put it in his mouth and thteatened to kill himself. I woke up his dad, who was napping. His dad in a way blamed me, becuz that's his baby boy... but I stayed with him becuz I do care and love him, I just want to do things and be someone not dependent on a guy. I have plans, he wants to get married. I want to be with him. How ddo I help him be more secure and take my freedom back. My family supports me, but wants me to break up. My mom (I don't have a dad), wants me to be happy, and she cares about him too. But is scared for my safety. My brother wants to kick his butt and feels bad for me, but I seem to always defend him. He has no one but me. What to do?

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Call a suicide hotline on him

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Yes .. you want her out your life ... she will just make it so much easier... dont allow her to manipulate you in any way ... if you stay with her YOU WILL KILL YOURSELF...

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Be honest...tell her she's no good for you and you don't love her anymore. You're not happy, she's making your life miserable that you is SICK and TIRED being TIRED and SICK of her..:D be done with it...or else she'll bring you down too. You have a life right? so you better look after it!

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Fast and certain. A truly suicidal person will do it anyway whether you leave or not. Wanna watch her die?

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by realizing that her decisions are not your responsibility. That as deperate as it may seem, these attempts are a manipulation. It sounds cold...but being one who has seriously considered ending things, I know that I wouldn't go out in a blaze of glory...I would do thngs so no one would have to muss and fuss and no one would no until it was complete. <br />
<br />
I may sound harsh...but like I said...I don't like being used...and these 'behaviors' are a horrible way of using other people. <br />
<br />
IMO

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Without knowing all of the particulars I can say this. It sounds like your gf has other issues which lay much deeper then her simply wanting to keep you. She needs help with extends far beyond what you are capable of providing. Sometimes in moments like this you have to step backward and take hold in a brand new approach. Example: You discuss your feelings with her mom and you allow her mom to actually aid you in making this split. You convey your concern for her well being and that you want the best for her and for her to get the help she needs and allow things to take course in that direction. By addressing it head on you state both that you care for her safety but also that you are at the end of your rope on this matter emotionally from a relationship stand point.

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Good question. My middle daughter's boyfriend killed himself after she broke up with him by over dosing on heroin. She is still has times when she gets upset and real sad. The guilt is overwelming. He would call her in the middle of the night and come to her appartment on the front porch wailing.....begging in a fetal position , rocking himself with tears streaming down his face. She listened to him from her bed not knowing what to do. She did have her reasons and she was sticking to her dicision. Now she wished she had gone out there to comfort him because he felt he had no one to help him get through it. So I my answer would be, be a friend to her because she gave up her heart to you and she deserves at least that much now, so she can move on.

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You cant bekept in a jail of emotionally blackmailed, her mom should get her counseling... she needs serious mental health care, and you cannot solve this and you are NOT responsible for what she does or does not do. I went through that once in my 20's and wasted six miserable years being nice...and in the end, realized, no matter what they did, I had the right to live my life, not be chained to someone so selfish and mentally no ok, and yes, they knew exactly what they were doing, so gently said, you should not and cannot be responsible for what they do. Living in a cage as someones pet for years due to threats ilke that are not worth it....you need to get away from her. What she does in the end is not your fault.

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Thats exactly what it is..if someone wants to kill themselves, they dont tell you they are, they dont threaten you with it either. They just do it. She is using that with you because she knows thats your soft spot and you fall for it everytime. She wants the sympathy. You cant stay with someone who does that to you, and also if she doesnt make you happy. She is being selfish and thinking of her needs only. She doesnt care how you feel, she just doesnt want to accept the fact that its over, she doesnt want you to be with someone else. Quite frankly, she needs to grow up!! Its funny I say this to you being a woman and all, but some women are just not right(men too) Dont waste your life being with someone you dont want to be with, before you know it, alot of time has passed. Trust me, I tell you this because Ive been through it a few times. Im 34 and I JUST NOW found a man that is everything Ive always wanted!! You gotta make a decision. If she worries you, find her some help, lord knows what else shes got goin on inside!! Good luck!

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I agree with hekatemoon Tell whoever is closest to her and then if she ever threatens it again tell her you're going to call the cops and stick to your word.

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you dont break up with her

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