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DMCMANUS DMCMANUS 16-17, M 4 Answers Jul 8, 2012

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Focus on whats good for you. Put yourself around ones you love that make you happy. Family,Friends and so on. Try not to listen to songs that remind you of tht person cuz that will only make it harder on you. Distract yourself. Hope this helps(:

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I keep what I refer to as brain files at bay. When I see something, hear something, say something, smell something, feel something that I know is going to trigger a memory and it starts to puts the hole back in my heart, I tell myself that I have 90 seconds to look at it and then I need to replace it with something totally new, even if it is only a thought or the words, " I can not go back and I am the one who gets to choose to be happy or unhappy. Which one do I choose?", and then I choose happy. The 90 seconds came from a study of the human brain that showed when we respond emotionally to something the body takes 90 seconds to begin and end the physical response to the situation. Anything after 90 seconds becomes our choice to hang on to it or let it go. It's hard. Nothing about losing someone you love is going to be easy. Time does not heal. You have to do that. You have to fill the gap. I lost my husband, my dog and six friends in twenty months. I've had some really rough moments and in those moments I stay in the grief, I allow myself to feel it. When I have exausted all my tears and my nose has stopped running, I get myself off the floor. I tell myself that I needed that moment. I needed to let it out and now I need to move on.

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I get sad, angry and drink too much. I close down and I wish I didn't.

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Music saved me I'll tell you that much.

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