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I love her, but it's really getting exhausting and she has driven away everyone else in her life.
salaciouslyyours salaciouslyyours 26-30, F 8 Answers Jan 28 in Dating & Relationships

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Intervention!!

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Send her a noose by the US Mail, anonymously...hehe ;-)

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A firm slap on the *** and a wink. It goes farther than you'd think it would

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Gotsta go! In the end you have to take care of yourself

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next time she is negative say to her don't worry you will probably be dead soon.

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I don't have to. She says something about that every time we talk.

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Be a good friend. Ask her why she is feeling so negative? Is she fighting with anyone in her family? I was going through a negative phase and i think it was because I was fighting with my Mum a lot at that time, and I would take it out on friends. There usually is a reason why people act in this way. Tell her to talk to her doctor about it, she might benefit from some counselling! But I would keep being friends with her, when she gets negative, remind her she is, and try and distract her. Instead of maybe talking, do an activity together that's fun for both of you, tennis, a movie? whatever you both choose. You can't talk to her about your problems at the moment, probally because she is dealing with too many of her own negative thoughts. So maybe just accept she's not the friend at the moment you can talk to, and try someone else. Constant negativity might be a sign on depression- and if she is saying things like shooting herself- that is really serious. Again, being a good friend means sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Just let her know you have noticed and you are there to supprt her. :)

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I hate to just say no, but done it, know her past, it's not a phase anymore, tried to get her to get some counseling, she is undistractable, she lives three hours away, and she keeps putting herself in situations that will upheave her life. I'm really trying here.

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Yeah, it sounds like you have really been supporting her, good on you, and she is lucky to have you as a friend. Have you tried telling her family about what she has been saying and how she is acting? Also maybe telling her about how she acts affects you and makes you worried might be good.

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She's almost 40 and she doesn't speak to any of her family for a lot of very good reasons. I've told her how much she worries me but it only seems to spiral her self-hatred.

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I can relate to her. Thats what I do everyday and most of my friends are in the same position you are with your friend. You might not be able to do anything...

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I feel like we've talked about every possible solution and every reason that she would be negative and suicidal and empty and there's just no fix. I know people aren't cars. You can't just replace something and make them work again, but it's so frustrating. I feel like I can't be happy around her because every time I'm like, "I learned something new!" she's like, "I thought about shooting myself in the face today. Nothing means anything." And I feel like I can't talk to her about MY problems because the conversation very quickly moves right back to her problems. If this had been a couple months, I would be worried, but it's been years of this.

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I take negative influences out of my life...I can't deal with people like that ......They exhaust me. I am a natural problem solver. If i can't solve it, **** it....Thats my philosophy.

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That would be my reaction to literally anyone else in my life who was putting me through the sh!t she's putting me through, yeah.

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Gotta take care of you first. Encourage her to get help and if she won't then she enjoys being that way. Obviously you wouldn't ask this if you enjoyed being around it. It sucks she chooses to live that way, but if she refuses to do something about it then I highly suggest getting out.

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