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Antoinette1968 Antoinette1968 36-40, F 17 Answers Apr 2, 2012

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We can only try to help someone soo much. They have to want to change and some people just can't while others won't. If you really feel like you've tried everything to enlighten their life to no avail then you eventually may have to say "I love you dearly my friend but if you are unwilling to change then it is time for you to stew in your own ****".. sometimes we gotta just walk away..

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i said something like that in another question....

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Yeah I used to have a friend that was this way. Always surrounded herself with drama and always talked about how lucky I was and that she was jealous. I was patient for a long time and tried to encourage her to live alittle differently and maybe change a few friends and she never did. So eventually I said **** it and told her to stew alone!

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accept them for who they are. Someone who is totally negative all the time may also be depressed. Its a common symptom of depression. Be patient and don't throw out all the positive pitch lines, like count your blessings, or things could be worse. Because, it CAN be worse.

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If you can, be an example for them.

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I say don't. My life is too important to me to have to deal with someone who can't deal with life. Let someone else. I may be selfish, but I like feeling good.

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We can't change people's views and opinions, is she being negative to seek attention? It's possible something deeper could be going on, don't feed the negative attitude run with it <br />
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For example: I understand you feel like this but I don't understand why you feel like this, this will encourage her to hopefully open up, and then you can help her get back on track

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Send him over here: He can move in with the black hole of negativity with whom I live, and they can die together in misery!

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you say screw it man lets go bowling <br />
Living in depression for so many years can be very boring.<br />
Take that depression and stab it in the heart because it can only hold you back from being dead.

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I'm dealing with that now & have been for 10 yrs & I just give up. It's exhausting to constantly hear what's wrong, wrong, wrong ALL THE TIME & I've tried my very best to teach him how to at least look for the beauty or the logic or the good in things but it seems to me he'd much rather find fault in everything & everybody. I just can't do it anymore. Like I said, it's exhausting so if he'd rather be bitter & miserable - more power to him. I'm done

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It kind of depends on how that manifests. Some people are negative about life and deal with that by dumping all over other people. Or by hurting others. I actively avoid those types. I just don't have the energy resources for them any more. The last guy that I was involved with wore me out.<br />
If it's someone who is just depressed or unhappy with life, then I try to encourage them to have hope. I might try to figure out what it is that makes them feel that way, and I might try to change that, if I can. Or at least see if someone else can help. I have to choose which people that I think i could make a difference with. There are so many of these types in the world. So I will sometimes give it my best shot to change someone's perspective. <br />
There does come a time, however, when I realize that some folks need a therapist more than they need a friend. Some people almost seem to want to be negative all the time. It's a deeply ingrained habit, and a sort of comfort zone for them. What's more, these folks are often really really self absorbed, and if you aren't careful, they'll suck you dry. So there are times when you have to deal by choosing NOT to deal.

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Stay away; They are a vexation to the spirit

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keep pushing positive thoughts, the person will not feel attacked or after a year, tell them they are negative.<br />
They will realize it and change or just be friends from a distance.

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I try not to.

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