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sparklestorm sparklestorm 36-40, F 13 Answers Feb 19 in Dating & Relationships

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I typically ignore it. And the person.

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totally ignore them

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Depends on how hostile the person is about it and how right i am in my position. If i did nothing wrong and they are hostile, i would remind them of this and i would keep trying till they listen. If not then i will resent them back and send as many kicks their way as they send me.

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I ended up hating myself

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That's not your problem, it's theirs. Why are they resentful towards you?

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Many reasons, the top ones are I do not listen or validate his feelings. So he says. I am BPD I do not handle being criticized well ie being told how I have hurt him yet again. I get defensive because I do not want to feel bad about him always feeling bad and it being a result of insert here what ever action/behavior of mine he feels caused it.

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Are you married to him? Have you tried marriage counseling? If something you did or said hurts him, and he wants to educate you to prevent further pain, I wouldn't characterize that as 'criticism'. Listen to him and stop hurting him in whatever way he tells you. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. If he feels hurt by something you said or did, that's enough. You should be free to tell him when he hurts you so this should be a two way street.

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Good advice, you seem like you understand. It sounds so easy when you put it that way. I guess I need to figure out why I am not listening. Thank you.

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As with everything, it's always easier said than done. No one likes to be told what they've done wrong or that they were hurtful. Best wishes to you and your partner!

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Avoid them?

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You have no control over what others think of you.

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Ignore them & feel sorry for them, they have that much hate. They are also probably unhappy people!

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