Resolved Question

How do you develop self esteem?

As a depressed person with no self esteem and poor body image. HOW do I build up some self esteem?

That's a tough one.

I would assume challanging your fears would help strengthen your resolve. The more you say "I can" when the voice in your head says "I can't," and the more you choose to do the thing that voice is trying to talk you out of, the more confidence you would build from it. Kinda like building a muscle. Use it to make it stronger. But don't push it too far too soon or you can injure it.

So think about what you want to do that seems like a reasonable accomplishment (like talking to that cutie at work) and just do it. It doesn't have to be a date. Just a hello is a start. The more you push the boundries of the things that seem scary, the less scary they'll seem.

Most of all, you should spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself. I don't mean find people who shower you with compliments, but spend time with the people you know love you for who you are. You don't have to be fearless to be happy. You just need be around the right people. The love you share with friends and family is probably the most important thing in life.

And remember, while it may seem like everyone else is happier and more confident than you are, that's just not true. You're not alone in how you feel. We're bombarded with images of what people "should" be like on TV, but all that is bullsh*t. Everybody has insecurities. Everybody has self esteem issues. Even the people who seem to exude confidence are often just covering up their true feelings. Recognize that you're not alone, and seek comfort in your loved ones. Because even if you were the most confident person in the world, you wouldn't be happy without their love.

So my advice is to focus on the good, the love, and challange that voice that tells you bad things. Use the love and support of friends and family as your safety net when you climb for things that seem out of reach. Sometimes you will reach those things, and sometimes you won't. But you always have their love to catch you if you fall.