How do you draw a line with a friend who has helped you gain a lot, but wants something more?
This guy that works with me at the shop has allowed me to ride my horse on his pasture, drink his beer, he's introduced me to some of his good friends and helped me find places to buy horse equipment, but he makes it blatantly obvious that he wants a fling. I don't want a fling with him--1) he's 20 years too old, 2) I only see him as a friend, 3) he could spill the beans at work one day. He has gradually worked his way up to sidling up to me and feeling down my back or over my hip and whatnot, and I KNOW he looks down my uniform shirt at work. He even asked me the other day, "Do you ever let those come out and play? When are you going to let me play with them??" I think I TRIED to tell him different, but I don't think he gets it. Is there a way I can politely shove him off? I don't want to hurt his feelings or be rude because he HAS done quite a bit for me.
8 Answers to "How do you draw a line with a friend who has helped you gain a lot, but wants something more?"
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time to pay up dolly
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He may have done alot for you hon... but not with good intentions. I would tell him "to butt out and if you don't you may be sorry in the long run." Don't let yourself be alone with him, and DON"T take anything again from him.
If there is someone you can confide in at work tell them whats happening, best to have someone in your corner if he persists.Like (1)
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You don't cross your own line or bounders to please them. And if they can't except it, baby move on and fast. take what you have learn from him or her. That's the only way you will be free,and not do it again. The next relationship will be better, IF YOU HAVE LEARN SOMETHING FROM YOUR MISTAKES.
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yeah, you allways have to be carefull when men just give and give all those things. they allmost always want something in return. thats just there way of hustling you. they shower a woman with kindness, and drop the bomb. lol ! kinda pathetic. but yeah i think you may have to get firm with this dude. thats very rude of him to touch you like that with out permission. let alone say those things to you. thats just raunchy. lol
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just tell him what u r telling us now
that u see him as a friend
and u r lucky to have him in ur life *as a friend*
and so on :)Like (1)
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He must be thick skinned if hasnt taken the hint by now!
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Lol Gertrude!
You've been to his pasture, now he wants to visit yours.
You actually don't owe him anything but your friendship, even if you have to be a little rude.Like (1)
Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):
Posted by JanIAm1031 1 May 10th, 2010 at 8:06AM
A guy like that isn't going to appreciate any subtle hints about your lack of interest in him. While it's awkward to be blunt about the fact that you're not romantically interested in somebody, some guys just don't get the message unless it's slammed forcefully down their throats.
So if you're not interested in being sexually active with this man, two things have to happen immediately: (1) You should accept no more favors from him of any kind. He obviously sees these favors as an investment in a future relationship with you and to accept any further "gifts" from him would continue to reinforce this misconception. (2) The next time he makes a sexually suggestive remark to you, look him squarely in the face and say, "________, I appreciate everything you've done for me but I am not interested in a romantic relationship with you." And if he interprets this to mean that you're just playing hard to get, tell him that the next step will be to report his behavior to his supervisor at your place of work.
It's unfortunate when you have to get really tough with someone who's romantically interested in you but this guy sounds like he needs a very explicit declaration of your lack of interest. Just remember: you owe him nothing but your gratitude for his past favors and hold your ground.
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