Here are two key suggestions:
First, get rid of the snakes much faster. Most women, particularly young women, hang on way too long when it is crystal clear that the relationship is not a good one. Women tend to bond with their lovers and they always want to try hard to "understand" what might be wrong and to try and fix it. And because they are so invested in their fantasies of what the two of them could be, they keep hanging on because dreams die hard and they don't want their dream, their fantasy, to die. Women also often believe that if they don't do every possible thing to "fix" a relationship, they are not really trying and therefore their love is shallow. That IS true of a marriage, I think. But it is not true of a dating relationship or an affair. You have to kick the snakes out of the garden FAST, instead of spending a year or two going back and forth with a relationship trying to be his therapist (and/or seeing your own shrink) or listening to his various complicated excuses....just leave. If you have to say goodbye, make it short and clear or just leave a note.
After you clear the snakes out of your garden, you can start to seek someone who is worthwhile. I highly recommend that you read some books (or listen to tapes) by Genie Sayles. She says that a woman should only look for two things in a man because nothing else is really important and nothing else will seriously impact the quality of your life. These two things are, in this order: A big heart. And a big bank account. She defines "a big heart" as meaning that under no circumstances does this man ever treat you unkindly or he doesn't treat others that way, either. She defines a big bank account as him having enough money to support you if he had to and if you wanted him to; his bank account needs to support whatever lifestyle you are comfortable living. She has some great suggestions for where to meet such men and how to draw them closer toward marriage.
Please do not be down on yourself. There are a lot of users and losers out there. And they tend to pick on the nicest, most inexperienced, youngest, most innocent people. You have to learn to spot bad guys much sooner, preferably before you have even had a relationship of any kind with them. To do this, please read one of my favorite books: The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. He explains how to learn how to recognize dangerous and bad people right at the start.
Darn good question, when I find one I'll let you know.
Take it from a good man, good guys do exist and we are everywhere. You just need to be where we are at and be like what we want as our girlfriends. If we see what we want in you, we'll come up to you, start chatting, and ask you out. Simple, is it not?
We don't want a loser either. We want a woman whom we can respect and who respects us in return. We want much more than that but it's part of it. If you get nothing but losers then it's probably your own fault. I'm not trying to put you down in any way, sorry if it seems that I am. A good man is a gentleman, a man who respects women. Such a man seeks a lady, the female counterpart to a gentleman. If you are not a lady then you will have trouble attracting gentlemen. Well, maybe you're hot and won't have trouble attracting them, but you will have trouble holding on to them. Good men want women who respect their own bodies. Who dress well and not show too much skin. I could write a book on what we want but will stop here for lack of space. I hope this helped.
I'm right here, Lady. You found me. Now what are you going to do about it?
it all depends on who you meet. you may find a good guy, or the good guy will find you instead.
work out the type of guy you would like to meet and work out where they hang out.... AND where they are likley to look to meet someone
don't look on nights out, that's all I have to say. Guys you meet through mutual friends are always good, I think