How do you gain some control back in your relationship?

Posted 1 month ago

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lost12345

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It would have been easier to have more details about what you mean by control and how you feel you have lost control. I will simply assume that your boyfriend is the my way or the highway type of deal and that you are the one that is bending over backwards to appease him. If this is the case...

Don't make yourself so available to him and his wants. If he calls you up to hang out on his time, simply say you are busy at that time with friends and then re-schedule on a time YOU set. Don't call, text or email more than him.

Don't give in to guilt trips or avoid arguments. If you disagree or don't want to do something, say so and stick to it. If you give into him that you are releasing the upper hand to him.

Bring the chase and sense of he could loose you back into your relationship. Knowing you have someone is not as intriguing as having to work for their love. Confidence and having a life outside of your relationship is very attractive to a partner. It shows them that your life can go on without them and makes them strive harder to show you that they are worthy of your time and love.

Hmm... I could go one further, but without details the above is the best I can do. Good Luck!!

Posted 1 month ago

Other 8 Answers to How do you gain some control back in your relationship?

DrachenWulf	Posted Oct 2nd, 2009 at 7:13PM Why do you feel the need to control your relationship? Shouldn't it be a partnership? Rated: +3Vote for this!
CrossEyedMary	Posted Oct 4th, 2009 at 4:55PM You get a huge, black, shiny gun. Rated: +2Vote for this!
Irishlullaby22	Posted Oct 2nd, 2009 at 10:35AM TALK........TALK TALK, and more talk. Problems are only solved by talking and not mind games Rated: +2Vote for this!
StudentofUnifying Life	Posted Oct 2nd, 2009 at 10:29AM If you are fighting each other for control, this is not the sign of a healthy relationship. It just means you're buying into the little games people play with each other. Then they wonder why they're not happy. It's the two of you against the world, and the only way to make it work is to be on the same team. I agree with DrachenWulf. Love is a partnership, not a competition. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Quagmyre	Posted Oct 2nd, 2009 at 8:30AM break up with him/her... i think there was aseinfeld episode that covered this. I need hand! Rated: +1Vote for this!
cc5439	Posted Oct 2nd, 2009 at 8:41AM If you have control of your own life, and by that I mean that you are making decisions that are healthy for YOU, then you will be able to exert control in your relationships, whether they be romantic or otherwise. Most people think being selfish is a negative quality, but that is not always so. You have to be sure that you are not squashing your own sense of self for any person or thing; if you lose yourself in any relationship, you lose control. Rated: +1Vote for this!
sassenach0603	Posted Oct 2nd, 2009 at 8:50AM Step up and take it. Rated: +1Vote for this!
verycheeky	Posted Oct 2nd, 2009 at 9:01AM you can do all those things like be less available and do your own things more..if this doesn't work then sometimes you just need to accept that one person always cares more than the other. if you are happy to be whichever side you are on then ( i presume you give more and love more) then the relationship will work .. if not then sometimes losing yourself in the relationship is not worth it and its time to reclaim yourself fully and say goodbye. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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