How do you get over being in-love with someone who is not in-love with you after a two year relationship?

I have been asking myself this very same question since mid December as I am going through this very thing myself. I don't know how to answer this. Some of the answers I have come up with for myself are this:
* I suspect they never really loved me after all.
* I suspect I feel like I have been a fool
* I suspect I was living through my own eyes of love
* I suspect they were just using me.

None of this feels good or great - but - how do you make sense of such childishness - as saying I love you and then changing your mind. Could not have been love that was up in the first place.

Well a lot of it is time, it's true. But I do have a secret that I've used.

You make a list. A list of at least 10 things, 25 is better. This is a list of every little thing that was ever even slightly unattractive...anything he or she ever said that was hurtful (as long as it makes you angry or annoyed, not hurt), and every little flaw in their personality - anything they've done that puts them in a poor light.

If you're in a relationship with someone for two years, you absolutely must have a list. Spinach in the teeth. Inopportune gas expulsion. Eye buggers. Strange nose. Halitosis after that big pizza.

For example, once I broke up with a very handsome man but he did have a sort of high forehead and was not very tall. I put "Huge Forehead on Stubby Little Legs" as one of the list items. Exaggerated, obviously...a little humor, making fun of him helped immensely. It keeps perspective in several ways. If your the type who uses humor to help you cope, then really exaggerate the flaws.

Remember, this list is not meant to be fair. This list is meant to dwell on every reason you're glad you're no longer with that person and if they broke up with you, the primary reason should be that they're stupid enough to break up with you!

When you feel yourself dwelling, yell "stop" at yourself and read over your list.

You have a goal. Your goal is to heal. This is a tool to help you. Believe me, you won't permanently damage any memories that you might want to preserve.

Best of luck to you!!! You will feel better, and sooner than later.

you just have to continue telling yourself that it didn't work out, and you have to move on, with or without them

You will fall back out of love, don't worry. I've been in relationships that ended after much longer than 2 years. Here are some tips that helped me through it:

- You're going to feel sad, devastated, empty, lonely, upset, like your world is over, and like life isn't worth living. This is a given, so just be aware. Don't use it as an excuse not to try to cheer yourself up when you're feeling down, but don't hate yourself for feeling weak and pathetic, either.

- Take care of your body. Eat well, sleep well, exercise. One of the only pleasures left to take from your ex is seeing his/her face 6 months after the break-up and knowing you look Hot with a capital H.

- Wait at least a month or so before dating again, but DO IT. Absolutely, get out there and date again! It's a great way to regain perspective and remind yourself that there is a whole world of interesting people out there just waiting to meet you.

- Connect with people. Tell your friends and family how down you are so they can comfort you.

Do volunteer work to fill the void of a sad relationship.

First thing you do is look back in the Relationship and find the things that upset you about your girlfriend, for instance, Did she cheat on you? or was she mean to you? just look back and find something that upsets you about her and focus on that, If won't help you with the loneliness but it help you with getting over her, I promise it will work, In my last Relationship my girlfriend use to physically abuse me, that is what i used to make it easier for me. as far as the loneliness, Start going out again, find new friends and start hanging out with them, try not to be alone to much and before you know it you have gone a whole day without even thinking about her, and it gets better and better and then before long you will be interested in dating again and will find someone special to fill that void in your life, Honey, Everything happens for a reason, there is most likely someone very special out there that is meant just for you. Hugs, I hope this helps....

If you really want to heal - not just not feel this way and remain friends - I can tell you exactly what will heal you.

1.)Separation
2.)Time

You CANT remain friends atleast at first. Its just a nice way of saying they have moved on but know you might not be ready to, so they throw in the friends part. You do some soul searching. You go out with friends and most of all you keep the door open to meet another person. The easiest way to get over someone is to find a new love.

Love isn't something you get over. If it is truly love you learn to move on. I will take time. When you love someone you are both better for it. Even if it doesn't work out you should be able to look back and smile. Love teaches you to grow. The laughter and tears associated with love prepares you for future relationships.

I drank alot and explored my options in a self-destructive fury for about five years. It doesn't work for everyone though.

Well, I fell in love with my best friend and he never loved me. It will always hurt a little, but you need to know that its better to have them as a friend then nothing at all. Thats the only way I got over him. I've found that being friends has brought us closer...think about that for a while.
AOS-

oooh thats hard, it took me 15 years to get over someone, and being in a friendship made it that much worse. The truth is, typing this, I realise if I saw him to day I would go with him in a heart beat. Sorry, good luck. Maybe you could back off the friendship a bit.

It's hard, but you know what? Give each other some space, and see what happens. You both need sometime for yourselves, time to reflect on things, to cry things out, think about things... You just need to realize that YOU are important, you need to realize that you have to be complete, you have to be a whole person, before asking anyone to make you whole. Endings are always new beginnings:).. It might take you a while to get over that person, but once you do, you'll realize that it's all for the best. I know, coz I did. It took me a long, long time to finally get over it, and i'm glad i did. Whatever you do, never forget to ask for God's help. It works.

I don't think maintaining a friendship is good for you, as the dumpee. Be polite to her if you meet, but try to make sure that doesn't happen. Hanging out with her will just extend the grieving process and make it tougher to move on.

They leave. You're left on your knees with the music turned up rrreeaaalllyy LOUD!

have somthing you like on hand...