How do you handle a life long pain and illness?

When you are in debilitating pain, and have no strength or energy to barley do daily activities how in the world can you be a happy person that others want to be around. You can only fake so many smiles. Meds only help so much. How do you not get angry at your self for not being able to do for others and with others?

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thornyasarose

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Fozzy, It is a slow process. It takes much soul searching, many hours of reflection, the ability to honestly evaluate your own value system, truthful insight, courage to admit one's own weaknesses, faults, wrong doing and offenses, deep searching for one's true strengths, finer qualities, abilities and values. Pain is kind of The Friend That No One Wants. Yet, it can be a very,very,very valuable thing to experience. It does provide opportunities to us that we would not normally have. Much rests on how you interpret the pain. Of course acute pain is normally a warning sign that something is physically wrong and needs to be acknowledged and taken care of. Ah, but then there is the endless chronic pain that never is fully relieved. That,at best, on a "good day", we are capable of minimal activity, but still very limited. It isolates us from our previous Self, from all that we once enjoyed, the people we once had active in our lives, the events we used to attend. It robs us of Our Previous Identity and we feel that all we are is a mere Shell of the person we once were. We are forced to redefine ourselves,our role in other people's lives,our role in society. We are forced to undergo a transformation that we don't want to endure. We want our Old Life back. We want the pain to stop. At times, we want to give up. We struggle and wrestle and fight....until what? Until we see it is a useless battle? Give up?? No, not at all. We struggle,wrestle and fight until slowly we find a foreign thought forming in our heart and minds. The thought is that "perhaps, just perhaps I can....perhaps,if I have no other choice.... just maybe...IF this isn't going to change, if this is IT,how it's gonna be, this is not living,and I'm not ready to die. I won't just give up so I might...I might be able to...maybe I can...I guess I will.. I just HAVE to...SINCE this obviously isn't going to go away...and I have been SO miserable...why not try, just see... what it would be like...if I could find the best this can be.Change my focus....ACCEPT this, learn how to live WITH this...I am tired of fighting and JUST existing." We decide to LIVE again. We accept our situation as a person that was BORN with a physical challenge accepts theirs. That's JUST the way it IS. And we grow from that point on. We evolve into a content,loving,happy,useful, quality human being. Different and the Same as before. Usually much wiser,more patient,with a sharper perception of what REALLY matters in life. Humbled,and thankful for that humility. Sure,we have sad times,difficult days, periods of melancholy...but we live. We survive. We prosper. We have a new direction. I finally reached the point where the thought entered my head,"Obviously THIS was acceptable to God Himself,else He would have forbidden it. So if it is al right with Him, who do I think I am to challenge His decision? As long as I let Him, He (and only He) can make this good." A transforming thought, a change in perception, and....PEACE. Now, when pondering how things happened, the way things have unfolded, the things I have gained...at times, when I am alone with my thoughts, I wonder if perhaps, just maybe...maybe This Pain was actually...a Gift.

Posted 1 month ago

Other 15 Answers to How do you handle a life long pain and illness?

Jasmine01	Posted Sep 2nd, 2009 at 1:57AM Pain relief in any of it's many forms (try getting referred to a pain clinic), and therapy. Oh and it depends on if you're talking mental pain and anguish or physical pain. Either way, seeking help would be the first step. Good luck. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Lookin4the1now	Posted Sep 26th, 2009 at 6:21AM You just have to accept it, take whatever medication is available for it and try to keep from thinking about it. You have to be preoccupied with other things. If you stay busy enough, you can escape the mental side of it. I know this may sound simplistic, but it works. Try it. Don't let a physical condition ruin your life by affecting your mental processes. It is possible to separate the mental from the physical if you try hard enough to forget it. It is like completely divorcing yourself from your past. A person that was abused as a child will be much better off if they move to a different part of the country and begin a new life, and just not dwell on the past. It eventually just fades into the background, as your new life and activities and friend begin to occupy your mind. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Sammywines	Posted Sep 3rd, 2009 at 6:33PM I am 15. Its definatly hard living with an illness. I have an undiagnosed problem but it causes me chronic pain. i am always in pain but i have learned to accept problems as they come. Dont think about life as one big chunk. Break it down. think about one day at a time. dont think about how you are going to get through tomorrow get through today first. enjoy what you have and what you can do now. If you keep dreading about what you can no longer do then you will miss out on oppertunities you have now. What kind of illness do you have? Rated: +1Vote for this!
SeetherLover	Posted Sep 2nd, 2009 at 12:02AM I pray, hold onto my faith, and I try to eat healthy. I'm going to try to start exercising but it's hard. I have kidney disease and my mom wants to be my donor. I'm trying to keep healthy so i can be in tip top shape for surgery. Rated: +1Vote for this!
gnn712	Posted Sep 2nd, 2009 at 12:03AM Have you tried a doctor who specializes in pain relief. Some people I knew got spinal cortisone injections which helped them alot. Or maybe something like Buddist techniques could help. Here's a book about that: Buddhist Healing Touch: A Self-Care Program for Pain Relief and Wellness - http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?r=1&ISBN=9780892818860&ourl=Buddhist%2DHealing%2DTouch%2FYen%2DMing%2DSun An introduction to the unique healing practices of the Buddhist monks. Table of Contents Buddhist Healing Touch A Self-Care Program for Pain Relief and Wellness Preface Part One: Theoretical Foundations 1. Introduction to Acupressure 2. How to Locate the Acupoints 3. Basic Acupressure Massage Techniques Part Two: The Practice of Buddhist Acupressure 4. General—For Men and Women Abdominal Cramps Angina Arthritic Pain in the Shoulder Arthritic Pain in the Knee Asthma Back Injury Back Pain Calf Cramp Cervical Spinal Diseases Cold Sores Colds Constipation Coughing Dandruff Diabetes Diarrhea Difficulty Swallowing Difficulty Walking Due to Aging Dizziness Faintness Emphysema Enlarged Abdomen—The Beer Belly Syndrome Eye STrain Foreign object Lodged in the Windpipe (The Heimlich Maneuver) Frozen Shoulder ("The Fiftieth Shoulder") Gallstones Gastroptosis—Downward Displacement of the Stomach Gum Disease and Tooth Decay Headaches Heart Palpitations Hemorrhoids Hiccups High Blood Pressure Indigestion Insomnia Involuntary blinking Migraine Headaches Motion Sickness Muscle Spasm of the Chest Wall Muscle Pain Myopia Neck and Shoulder Pain Nosebleeds Numbness of the Hands and Fingers Obesity Overexertion of the Leg Muscles and Feet Painful Heals Preventing Cancer Quitting Smoking Rheumatoid Arthritis Ringing in the Ears (Tinnitus) Shingles Shortness of Breath Sinusitis Stiff Neck Stomach Pain Stress—Mental and Physical Fatigue Sty Swollen Legs and Sore Back Tonsillitis and ThroatInfection Toothaches Varicose Veins Vomiting Yonger-Looking Face 5. For Men Only Early *********** Erection Difficulties 6. For Women Only Blocked Milk Duct Breast Abscess Breast Feeding—Before and After Delivery Difficult Urination after Childbirth Fibrous Breasts Incorrect Position of the Fetus Insufficient Milk Flow Menstrual Discomfort Overdue Pregnancy Womb Education Part Three: Wellness for Life 7. A Daily Wellness Program 8. Patting—To Prevent and Cure Illness 9. A Popular Folk Cure—Gua Sa, or Skin Scraping Acknowledgments Rated: +1Vote for this!
robyn	Posted Sep 2nd, 2009 at 12:17AM let it become your normal reality, like everyone else has a normal reality. of course pain and illness suck, but so does divorce, death, terrorism, poverty, child abuse, and on and on. everyone thinks their pain is the worst. i know...i'm living what you're living too. next, do what you can for other people, even if you feel it isn't much. OK, so you can't clean their house, walk their dog, or volunteer at a rest home. but you can be an inspiration, a good listener, and share your wisdom. develope your own spirituality. it will come by being good to other people. lastly, get off the pity pot. i don't mean to sound unfeeling or unkind. i've been there, and occasionally i slip back into it. but self pity will destroy your happiness, spirituality, your mental health and even destroy you physically. if you can forget yourself, you can handle the life you've been given. love and best wishes, Robyn Rated: +1Vote for this!
broken69	Posted Sep 2nd, 2009 at 12:39AM Many very fine teaching hospitals have pain clinics .They specialize in the latest drugs electric implants nerve blocks I went through it all with my X wife even spinal blocks and morphine pumps. Try one, insurance companies cover them. Rated: +1Vote for this!
innocentchild	Posted Sep 2nd, 2009 at 12:05PM Be content in what God gave you.It may look like preaching,but I myself have gone thru such episodes constantly for years.What I did was I did things whatever I can in that condition,whatever things I liked and i forgot pain and illness at least for some time. Rated: +1Vote for this!
arpwave	Posted Sep 2nd, 2009 at 5:05PM What kind of pain ? Rated: +1Vote for this!
jophiel	Posted Sep 14th, 2009 at 3:19AM Try meditation. Rated: +1Vote for this!
ProudArmyWife2007	Posted Sep 16th, 2009 at 5:58PM I have extreme chronic stomach pain.. I have had it sence I was 16. First they found I had a gallbladder that was not functioning properly. A band had formed around the tip, so when the bile would get squeezed out half would shoot back inside. Then after that surgery my stomach pain never went away.. i proceded to have 3 more surgeries, having both scar tissue and my appendix removed. Now at 22 I still have a lot of pain... I am always in pain. I had been on percocet for over a year and HATED how i was on it.. slurred speach, fuzzy thoughts and what not. So i stopped taking them, and luckely had no withdrawl symptoms. And started seeing 2 different pain therapists. One would do injections of cortizone and/or local anistetic and then would ultrasound the area and use a hot compress. The other one started trying to help me find other types of medication to help with the pain. None of them ever worked, and the therapy (ultrasounds, shots, hot compresses...) would always make my stomach bruise, indent and cause pain. So in the end I just stopped doing all of it.. I take motrin or advil if I start to get bad pain and place a hot pad on the spot and lay down for awhile. It never gets the pain to completely go away, but it helps. I have just started to deal with it and live with it. There are days that it gets to be too much and I cry from the pain, but I always keep pushing myself and refuse to start narcotic again. My husband has been very helpful with it all. He talks with me about it and helps me find ways to ease the pain.. like some days all i can wear are sweat pants or pajama pants because my jeans hurt my stomach (i learned that some of my nerves in my stomach have been damaged and that adds to my pain). I think we can all find ways to deal with our pain... we just have to be willing to do the trial and error it comes with. Its what I have been doing for the last 5 years... And I have finally found things that help me deal with my pain- that i will have for the rest of my life. Rated: +1Vote for this!
MISTRESSROXY	Posted Sep 17th, 2009 at 10:13PM For one thing, quit eating processed foods. They make you feel worse, and mess up your mineral balance while containing lots of MSG. Drink more water, take a multi, eat fish or flax oil. Take sulphur...Get rid of your stress, it causes auto immune responses. Other than that, its not going away, so might as well make the best of it. Rated: +1Vote for this!
RedneckHippie	Posted Sep 24th, 2009 at 12:52PM i have a cousin with constant health problems, constant pain, surgeries, you name it. she handles it with dignity and grace most of the time. i admire her so much. Rated: +1Vote for this!
sighhhh	Posted Sep 24th, 2009 at 8:54PM A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed Oh, Everything is better with A Bag of Weed It's the only hope that you'll ever need Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed! Rated: +1Vote for this!
RandomBloke1973	Posted Sep 26th, 2009 at 8:57AM If you feel terrible, why not make people aware of that? What's with the "fake smiles"? Train people to make allowances for your condition and understand how it affects you in very plain terms. I'm assuming that you have a diagnosis that is correct. If you don't have a diagnosis, or your diagnosis is wrong, you obviously need to look into that as your first priority. If your meds don't help you at all, tell the damn doctor that they are useless. You don't work for him. He's meant to work for you. Become an expert on your condition. Try to know MORE than your doctor. This is perfectly possible when you are studying one condition: YOUR OWN. Research, research, research. Maybe there is a cure for what you have. Maybe there isn't. If there isn't you need to focus on managing your condition. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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