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mandychm mandychm 36-40 8 Answers Oct 13, 2010

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There is a third option; that he is sick (thyroid?) or suffered a silent heart attack or silent stroke that has resulted in a change to his personality.

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If you are asking then he has obviously lost interest to some degree. The question is will he regain it. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. The best way to make him take notice of you again is to get busy with making yourself happy and live your life to the fullest.

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You are absolutely right! Just got to get past my inability to accept the new status quo.

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The moment the communication shuts down, the time when the there is lesser sex and intimacy, the moments there is cold air between you and unable to see eye to eye.

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My husband is a very loving man and there is nothing he wouldnt do for me, but there was a time when he quit saying all the sweet things to me and touching me was so little if ever. I really thought he lost interest with me. I realize now that it was all the stress he has bee under, but at the time I thought it was me. My daughter was even worried about it cause she hates to see our affection twards each other and she missed it. I talked to him, hes sweet but dont like to share his feelings. So he told me all the stuff he had been worried about and what was on his mind. <br />
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I began looking up depression in men and found that he that fit him perfectly. He even was sicker more often, strange body aches and headaches. I thought that he was faking all of it cause it wasnt like him and it wasnt normal to go from one pain to another like that.<br />
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I dont know your husband's stress, but it may just be that, hopefully because stress can pass. I hope its just that. Communication is a good thing, It took me a while before I would ask him what was wrong with me and that broke the ice, I didnt put it on him but on myself. what ever it is I wish you the best.

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Insist he sits down to talk right away, and let him know how much it concerns you and how you arevery worried. If you don't see a change continue the conversation, don't give up, and if he gets angry, drag him to counseling. I thought my husband of 25 years was just going through the stress of the effect of the economy on his business and so I very patiently kept telling him how much I love him and didn't pressure him to open up when he would just have the same answer for what was wrong for over a year. He became so grouchy. I kept thinking patience and love would get him through. HAH! How naive! That was a huge mistake. He just didn't have the nerve to confess to me that he was having an affair until I found out and went ballistic. He later admitted that there was no problem with our marriage except that he was very bad at expressing himself, in addition to having a horrible lapse of character. He is very remorseful now, but I told him that if the marriage is to continue, he has to be more open with me so the next negative moods don't become destructive. So far, so good. Anyway, from my experience, if this has gone on for more than a couple weeks, you need to take this very seriously and if he won't open up or change after telling him that you need more caring attention and affirmation of love, take him to counseling. Make it an ultimatum. If I had, my husband might have been spared the deep humiliation he feels now, and I would be spared the torment of wondering if I married a self-centered, uncaring person...as well as the trauma of the affair. <br />
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Tell him that we can't be fully human with a healthy relationship if there is no honest communication in the relationship, because we have to be able to see things from both perspectives and create a balance. If we don't know what is going on with the other person, we can't adjust and help each other.<br />
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Also, mid-life crises are very real. My husband was a classic case. During that mid-life questioning time, he let go of what he believed in when a friend heavily flirted with him, actually pursued him. He feels so ashamed and mortified by his behavior now, that I actually feel sorry for him. I think we need to help our spouses through their mid-life crises and take them very seriously. I thought my husband had a heart of gold. Keep talking to your husband openly. Don't stop even when they shut down and retreat (which is what I did, thinking he was just under a lot of stress).

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I been married for over 14 years and I am still turned on by her-she on the other hand is interested in an old love from college-very sad and disappointing because I believed her.

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I've been married for 13 years, still turned on by him but I think he might be seeing someone else. He is faithful by nature but I think it may be a mid life crisis (he is older than me and hates getting older). Perhaps trying to prove he is still desireable?

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Need to talk - to him ?<br />
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T.C.

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He says he is just 'busy' - whatever that means. He is usually very loving (to the point of overkill) but lately just completely absent.

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