Hugs to you --
Start very small. Promise yourself you will do one selfish thing for you this week (i.e. get a pedicrue, massage, etc.). The only rule is it has to be what YOU like to do.

Start being kind to yourself - again, since it sounds like this has been going on for awhile, start small. But think of how you would treat your best friend who at that time is down and blue. Is what you are thinking or saying what you would say to a wounded friend?

Find a hobby or interest for at least 1 hour each week that is purely and soley yours - no one elses. Join a book club, go for a jog, or just sleep.

I used to live soley for my family and my son -- I was always the last person on the list -- and by the time the list was finished - I was so tired I just couldn't give myself the time.

I also discovered that my expectations of MYSELF were so much higher for me than for anyone else in my life. I was always cutting these people slack - never doing the same for myself.

This will take time - do baby steps. Good luck - you will be able to do this!!

Thinking of yourself does not always have to an exclusive thing. You can take an extra minute here or there throughout the day to enjoy something for a moment longer. Perhaps take a day for yourself and go do something simple....wander around the mall, linger in a bookstore looking at a book or magazine that has caught your attention. I believe there are lots of ways to love yourself that don't always have to be grand events. Certainly a spa day or a nice dinner out is awesome but let the little things count too in getting back the self that has suffered in a life dedicated to everyone else:-)

Take small steps. I suffered from self-esteem issues for years. First, take good care of yourself. Eat healthy, get regular exercise, and you'll be amazed how much better you will feel about yourself. Find some empowering music to work out to. Treat yourself to a spa day. Rediscover a hobby you once loved, or discover a new one. Don't feel guilty about doing something for you. You deserve it, too! You can do all of these things while remaining open to the possibility of caring for others. You just have to allow yourself to be cared for, too.

First of all, the world is out to get you and hurt you. But you don't learn those lessons by being safe. When you're a little kid you fall down alot, and it teaches you to walk steadily on your own two feet. As to loving yourself, I'm a selfish, greedy bastard, And the way I... Wait, no, get your mind out of the gutter, I do tings that make me feel superior to other people. I don't mean being an ******* and attacking people's weaknesses, and doing evil **** just cause I can ( I do, all of it, but that's just me) But by excelling in the things you can, and always learning how to excel in different ways. That way people look up to you, and that makes you feel good and helps give you a sense of self worth.