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Every year my in laws get me presents despite the fact that I tell them I do not want anything. They say I have to have something to open on christmas. But I really want is to not get anything! I view purchasing things I don't need as bad for the environment and I am horrified to receive gifts when I have no use for the item because I know how much pollution was made, and waste, child labor, yadda yadda. But they still buy stuff. I have also tried asking for some things I may need like a gift card to a certain store but they will get a card to different store, or if there is a specific item they will buy something else. But my first choice is to not recieve anything in the first place. And to top it off they know that I am not catholic and do not celebrate christmas!
CyborgBetty CyborgBetty 31-35, F 5 Answers Dec 6, 2013 in Community

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So the one day a year they break all your rules, you can't just play along ? And Christmas isn't Catholic or Christian.....Christmas is about the spirit with in ones heart. Stop pi.ssing on others x mas.

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It is not ******* on other's christmas to tell them you do not want gifts. It's just a material item and doesn't mean anything except for the damage done to the environment.
And it is exclusively catholic. Non-catholics do not celebrate christmas.

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More power to ya. But I was wrong figuring maybe just one day of the year you could let go your self righteous indignation for the parents / family of the man you married. I was wrong I suppose in thinking that we make acceptations in relationships. Have it your way,

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Then you need to direct them to purchase you something that you do need. Make a list of gifts you would find acceptable. if you don't do that they will continue to buy what you don't want or need, so if you want some control make a list. Put the brand name of a pair of socks you would wear, but down your brand of deodorant, tooth paste, etc... it can be all things you would buy for yourself anyway. It does not really matter that you are not catholic, you are a member of the family and that is a family event. You don't get to change that. You can help to modify it to suit you a better if you wish, but clearly excluding yourself will not and has not worked.

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i am not materialistic to come up with a list of items. Nor do I need socks every year. I just want to be excluded from the gifts. I don't see why that is a big deal, it is just stuff. If they respected me they would respect my request to not receive gifts.

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I offer you advice. That is all. That fact you "don't see that it is a big deal" is why your attitude will cause your relationship to fail. How aboout accepting that it is V ERY important to them and try to go along? What would that be like? Sometimes being " right" is not as important as you think it is. This is not an issue of them disrespecting you. Eh, you will do as you wish, have fun LOL.

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Oh, and your response. " I am not materialistic to come up with a list of items" is a really STUPID response. Fact they will buy you gifts. Fact you won't like the gifts a will be further frustrated. Have you ever heard the word " pragmatism" , It is about finding a solution to a problem. No.. its way better not to make a list of basic items you could use anyway and avoid wastefulness and fight with your partners family and insist they do as you say and not buy you gifts. You must be a real pleasure to be around.

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Giving gifts has nothing to do with getting along. In fact if getting along were important that when someone said they do not want gifts, then you don't buy gifts. Simple. You do not offer advice, you just say accept people shoving things you don't want down your throat.

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If you ever discover the secret, please let me know

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Tell them to donate money to a charity in your name. Tell them anything else that they get will be returned and the money will be used for this purpose, so unless they want to ruin your Christmas, they will respect your wishes and do this. Give them a detailed list of your pre-approved charities. If that doesn't work, nothing will. :P

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Refuse any gift they give you. Don't even open them. Then they won't bother next year.

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I think I may do that. Although it's kind of rude. Any ideas on how to be polite about it. Like just say "No thank you, I asked not to receive anything."?

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When I tried to be polite about it in the past, I wasn't taken seriously. I hate to be rude about it as well, but I don't think many people believe others who say they really don't want anything.

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Maybe I could write a letter for everyoneabout how I really don't want gifts, and list all the pollution that an unwanted item causes. Point out things like christmas makes 4 million extra tons of trash (25% more) than any other holiday season. That wrapping paper is filled with toxic chemicals, most of their gifts were made by child labor, stuff like that? And conclude that polluting the plant is not a nice gift. Not to mention the stress of having to place these items in the most environmentally sensitive way possible. Since they don't give gift receipts like normal people I can't return anything because I don't know where it was bought.

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They'd probably still see that as rude and dumping on their holiday, but it would be a good reason.

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