How do you not allow your emotions to control the decisions you make in your life?

Consult with a friend or a "professional" known for being level-headed, smart and wise.....

I have it almost figured out. And I hope it's not too late. Here is what I've found out about myself, and all human beings.

We have a mind, which has in it the conscience and the subconscience. From the school of Carl Jung, our subconscience holds all the information about ourselves, our ancestors, and what makes us who we are. Our conscience is how we learn to process that information in a civilized society.

From Freud, we have the Id, the Ego, and the SuperEgo.

The Ego is our selfishness. It is King Henry, you might say..."I want what I want...period." It's the foolishness, the "touchy-feely," self-gratification part of us. It is also the instinctual part of us that drives our emotions. These are raw emotions that have not been refined by our conscience minds through education and wisdom. It is these that take over if we don't learn to control them. These are sex, possessiveness, and other unfiltered desires which could destroy us.

The Super Ego is our Divine part that dictates Law. In other words, "This isn't right...don't do it." or "This is legal, go ahead." It's sort of the "green light red light" for our actions. If we think of stealing something, our SuperEgo "slaps our hand" before we can do it. If we do it anyway, it makes us "pay the price," even though we didn't get caught.

However, often times, we have to make moral decisions and judgement calls. These moral decisions and judgement calls are necessary when there is no clear line between right and wrong, and to us, if we go too far one way, we'll be breaking the law (SuperEgo), and too far the other way, we'll get lost in our pursuit because of our desires (Ego).

The Id is the compromise between the Ego and the SuperEgo. In other words, it allows us to get what we want without breaking the law or destroying ourselves in foolish pursuits based upon raw emotion. (greed, pleasure, or hatred...for example).

Greek and Roman philosophers agree that knowing yourself will solve your problem. What that basically means is, what makes you tick? What buttons can people push that make you act a certain way? When you get into moods, what causes you to get in those moods? What really makes you angry? What makes you sad? How do you manipulate people? What really turns you on? Are things you can't resist that you must stay away from to avoid getting trapped? How far is TOO far before you withdraw?

I can tell you that I'm a highly emotional person, and have made horrible decisions based upon emotions that changed my direction in life, changed my disposition, and delayed certain outcomes. Even as old as I am, I am learning to use my Id. And there is no such thing as "common sense" anymore. I really have to determine what is good and not good for me on a daily basis.

And according to Dr Karen Horny (I know...funny name...but she is of the school of Jung, psychologist from the '40's and '50's) discovered something called "neurosis," which means, basically, either the conscious or subconscious suppression of your base personality complexes. This is formed by your initial environment.

You learn from your parents, peers, teachers, and idols what is proper and not proper, and act accordingly. Sometimes, when leaving that environment, society tells us that some of these are wrong, which causes a real conflict that we have to deal with inside ourselves.

Society says, "Act this way, and this will happen." If it is a good and lawful thing, we may have in the back of our minds what our parents and peers have taught us...that it is wrong, and we don't act that way, for fear that somehow we will pay for making that decision against our upbringing. If it is a bad thing in society, but our parents taught us it was good, we'll act according to the environment we were raised in (initially), until we understand this is not acceptable. Hence the term, "You can take the girl out of the street, but you can't take the street out of the girl." The neurosis is that we can't act in the way we really want to. So, we suppress it.

If we all treat life like it was a business, we would use management principals. Decisions are not made on emotions, but on practical ideals that have been tested and proven. Most people don't live life like it's a business, and let their emotions steer them out of control.

I still don't have it all figured out, yet...after being stubborn and bullheaded for most of my life, I'm finally learning to make decisions based upon practical principals that will have long lasting effects. I'm better at asking for help in those decisions. Even though emotion is still a big part of it, it is now more like "radio noise" that I'm better at ignoring.

These are the things I've learned.

I hope it helps.

bwa! good luck with that. let me know when you find the answer!

Why should you? Perhaps our instincts can be better than our intellect.

Ah ha! this is a problem I also have, and evidentally I am such an emotional driven person that I have been told by those who arent as "emotionaly inclined" as myself, that it would be impossible for me to take control over my emotions because if infact did shut out or put a "short leash" on all my emotions then I wouldn't have that "special" quality that makes me who I am...

Ummmm, yea I believe it to be a blessing and a curse... It is very hard to find people who are on the same level as I am emotionally and depth wise.

For example it rains, most people see it as a natural thing, its just percipitation from the clouds after all!

Well to me its a reflection of life, how pain has to fall sometimes in order to make a person grow..

Idk... guess im just "crazy" lol I've never been called normal that for damn sure!

Emotion has to play some factor.

Without it, you are just numb, or some sort of robot.

Listen to your intuition. Usually we have a gut feeling about what we should do and it usually leads us in the right direction.

I rely on my keen sense of direction, the same one that took me an hour in the wrong direction just yesterday, hmmm I will have to reevaluate my decision making tools! Ok, here's the thing, I am an emotionally based person. I think with my emotions, I make decisions based on my emotions, and I set goals because of my emotions. When I make decisions based off of my emotional needs, sometimes it does not go well at all, but if I make decisions solely based off of logical reasoning, the results tend to be just as disastrous. By thinking with my head AND my heart, considering all options, I make a better decisions. I think things through and ask myself, what will make me happy, maybe not immediately, but down the road? Most of all, I have somehow developed patience and that is key to making better decisions, you never succeed by rapidly making decisions without consulting your head and heart first. Last, but by far not least, be WELL INFORMED. Making decisions without all of the facts guarantees disaster.

to be honest, every decision you make in life is based on your emotions pretty much. i don't think there is any way you can stop this. [i may be wrong though].

but the way i see it, i've always tried to make the right decisions, and maybe that is going against my emotions. like if i'm depressed, i want to quit college, but i don't do it because it's important to me.
It's based on how important something is to you, how much you need it. if it's not important then yes, your emotions will take over. but if it's important, then you'll make the decision regarding what you think is right.
whether right or wrong though, it happens for a reason. it'll work out for the best in the end.

Very difficult but it can be done. When you feel an emotion about to take hold of you, just hold it and accept it as part of you. Then when you can love it ( as it is yours not anyone else's) then let the love that is you surround it and infuse it. You will sound find that the energy that made up the emotion will then become yours and you cn then keep on being what you were before!

well I've learned how to be good at it. Simply I just ask myself which one is best for me and not how I feel about it. Then I just act upon my decision right away before the emotional side kicks in.

you realise emotions are action signals

try to figure out what action they are asking you to take and why

then take a deep breath make a choice and be happy

many people say think with your head, not your heart. others say contrary. it's complicated. but the best thing is remain calm. tell yourself to think about the problem at hand in a rational, logical manner.