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There's this guy in my building in an apartment just two floors down below me. He is somatic, complaining of pain and hardship. From what he told me, his leg was almost cut off in an accident and they used a steel rod and pins to fix it. Eventually the bone will grow back. Until then he is in constant pain, complicated because he became addicted to the methadone he took. He also sufferers from severe anxiety... he had a choice... benzo's or addictive pain meds? He picked benzo's. Since he is so somatic, no one wants to socialize with him, "because all he does is talk about his pain." He has only a bed, TV on a stand and a lamp on a dresser and a chair. He's bored, in pain and with no where to go. I am the one who befriended him and my heart goes out to him. Yet, he is always at my door. I have my own anxiety and depression. Sometimes I just need space. I told him that. He doesn't get it. I feel bad. Yet, he can burn me out. I know myself quite well, 2 days of space and I will seek him out. I feel bad about this...what do I do?
Sparrowhawk1161 Sparrowhawk1161 51-55, M 8 Answers Nov 19, 2012 in Dating & Relationships

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I think you just have to bite the bullet and speak to him frankly. The only way to be polite would be to bring him a meal before you tell him. I would also recommend bringing him something like a book or a movie (maybe something that pertains to his situation) or maybe something just to keep him occupied or distracted.

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I made CD's for him and he has borrowed movies... so...

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You still need to have that conversation though

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Yeh... telling I need my space is one thing... getting into his head is another. I will have to reinforce this.

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If it was me and i said it politely the first time and the person didnt get it...the 2nd and final time would NOT be polite...

Shut up and quit whining about it....get over it...at least you still have your leg....keep bitchin about it and i will cut the mother f*cker off and shut it up your ***!!!

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Strange? Really? I am not kidding on this. The last time I saw him he was actually thinking about just having it cut off becasue of the pain and the prediciment...

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Im serious....
And even though he may have it removed...this person has whined and complained so much that his brain will likely suffer from "phantom limb"....even though its gone he will still feel pain...a dr may have to retrain him and his brain to realize it is no longer there

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Yeh. A psychiatrist and psychologist would be the best thing for him. I just can't be objective enough for him... I will just have to tell him that I need my space and when I want to see him, I will... thanks...

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Just say "I NEED some space so don't contact me for a while please and I wont be contacting you".

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