Stop faking it, be mean back to them.
I mean it looks like you're reaching out to others that should be helping you but for some reason they aren't.
If you want to talk to a Christian that will help, perhaps you should reach out to your pastor.
you are describing most relationships. The moment we realise we are being fake. NOT being fake requires balls of steel, the ability to say to the christians…smiling all the time is unrealistic and quite creepy…it makes me feel uncomfortable. Then tolerating the contempt that will waft your way for daring to break the code (which is false pretence) in becoming ourselves to being who we really are is a lifelong journey and please tell me it is not to end up a smiling christian
You don't have to "fake" being accepting of things that are hurtful to you.
You're entitled to feel bad sometimes and you need to surround yourself with people who are supportive and helpful rather than people who are critical.
"Christian" people sometimes feel they are better than others .. and those are hypocrites you want to avoid.