Post
I feel confused. I met a man, fell in love big time. It took him time to tell me that he loved me, and I knew the reason why. When he finally did, I felt like I was on cloud nine. I knew he had taken a huge leap of fatih. We dated for 10 months, 6 of that long distance, but spoke everyday and saw each other when we could. We were making plans to be together right up until the very end. Then he just ended it. He still loves me, he says. I'm a fabulous, sweet woman. I've brought him so much joy and helped him overcome so many issues he had with himself, including self-doubt and expressing how he feels. Here's the kicker. He wouldn't have left me for any other woman than her. She was his first love, whom he never found closure for, he never truly got over. We'll still be friends because I'm too important to lose. He knows that he will probably pay dearly for his decision. Argh. She did the same thing to him 25 years ago, left suddenly and with no warning. BTW...he's cut communication.
notsurewhy notsurewhy 36-40, F 8 Answers Sep 22, 2009

Your Response

Cancel

Im sorry he is being a jerk! You really need to let go of him and find someone who doesn't an attachment to some old girlfriend. Sounds like he can't let go of her and she is gonna tug him along for ever.<br />
I know this is hard and extremely hurtful to you.. but you need to walk away and let him mess up his life on his own. don't bail him out or wipe his tears anymore. You are way better then being second best. You need to be FIRST in a mans life. <br />
Hugs

Best Answer

I may sound rough, but I don't believe with the "left without warning". Are you sure you didn't want to see the signs?<br />
A relationship that starts out as long-distance is not really a relationship: on the phone things can be great when they wouldn't have been face to face.<br />
<br />
Another of your sentences sets a red flag: you "helped him overcome so many issues he had with himself, including self-doubt and expressing how he feels". That to me is a give-away showing an imbalanced relationship.<br />
<br />
Playing the nurse to 'save and change' someone has never given healthy, long-lasting anything.<br />
<br />
Whether he left for his high-school sweetheart or a woman he met yesterday does not change diddly-squat. Stop patronizing and finding him excuses. Dumped is dumped.<br />
<br />
I really hope you will find someone one day that is as happy and fun as you are.<br />
<br />
Read books by Robin Norwood for more on this.

Best Answer

It's not true love if it isn't working. Give it time 'Time heals everything'.

Best Answer

Thats pretty much part of the cycle of love...<br />
Love being fleeting most times,... or opportunistically longer-lasting if nothing better comes along....<br />
Faithfulness will often be punished by betrayal or neglect.....<br />
People perpetuate roles,..using others as symbolic representations,. for the other requisite roles.......<br />
Its best to not scratch below the surface of most love,....since dreams are most lucid when asleep.<br />
Don't try to understand or 'own' love...just embrace it while it lasts...Like a dream it is often 'gone by the morning'....<br />
He may be chasing it,..like a rainbow...Just don't be chasing it,.like a dragon.....Just go back to where you were...and begin again.

Best Answer

I am so sorry...she will leave him again, and again. Those women only go running to those men who appear to have found someone else that makes them happy. They break them again, and leave them...again. Women like you (us) become their emotional crutch. I dare to ask, how many times did he mention her name and carefully detail their relationship and all the pain she caused him? Yeah, I'd even been accidentally called by her name on one ocassion. 6 out of 10 months were simply long-distance telephone calls...been there too. It can be very frustrating, especially when trying to make long-term plans. Cut communication from you? That's normal. He's ashamed of what he's done and cannot face you again. Filling your heart and mind with hope, and then crushing you the way he did. Mark my words, the next time she dumps him, he'll come crawling back on his hands and knees because you are kind and forgiving...be strong, and do not accept his pleas for you to take him back into your life. You deserve to be number one in someone's life, not playing second fiddle to a woman whos flame burns bright in the heart of this man.

Best Answer

it took me7years..with warning..it.s your innerself..the process of pain/hurt/healing....how you personal handle it...some jump to substitutions...and some..reflect in distance..e.g.NOW what...thats always the point of life..when NEW..roads open up..sad it always has to be painful...take care of No.1..yourself..for now and share with close friends..before u turn to the fellow who seems to be "homosexual" interested...to easy way out...

Best Answer

Related Questions