Resolved Question

How do you stop bullying when the people doing the bullying have all the power?

I read a surprisingly astute comment here about bullying. I don't know who said it or where it was posted. (I wish I did so I could point you to it) But she said her son was being bullied and she told him to invite the bully to dinner at their house. Apparently when he asked the bully to come over for dinner, he declined (naturally) but he stopped bullying him after that.

It really goes to show that compassion is a powerful tool when used in reponse to violence. That poor kid was probably bullying her son to combat his own feeling of powerlessness. Maybe he was abused. Maybe he was bullied too. Maybe his parents were splitting up and it was just an outlet for his frustrations. You never know what someone else feels; especially if they're acting out because of it, which children often do.

What surprised me is that, according to her, it worked. I knew that bullying was usually due to emotional problems, but it never occured to me that love and compassion might be the answer to violence. But it makes so much sense. Violence in kids is usually the product of a lack of love and compassion.

But I guess the question is: how far gone is that kid? Is he susecptable to compassion or will it just fuel his rage?

I'd recommend trying Mrs X's method first. And if your son gets beaten up for it, martial arts is great for a kid's self esteem. And it helps in those situations too.