How do you tell a guy without being a bitch that you can't date him because he lacks intelligence and motivation?
About two weeks ago I gave this really cute 30 y/o guy my number, and he called me. We went on a date, and he was really sweet but kind of psycho... he immediately started telling me every thought in his head without censoring it, which included "OMG I want to spend all my time with you forever now", and "I do hardcore drugs, but I use a needle so its safer." He makes up words. The worst part was that he had ZERO motivation and ZERO going for him, he still lives on his moms couch (not his own bedroom, literally a couch). He has no car and works as a cart corral at a hardware store. I'm not materialistic; I'd actually be okay with this if he was going to school to try and better his situation, or even saving up for a car or a place or SOMETHING. he dropped out of high school. I asked what his plans were for the future and his response was "I want to play guitar and change the world". "How?" "Uhm, I dunno." I have tried just backing away but he wont quit. I can't deal with it.
19 Answers to "How do you tell a guy without being a ***** that you can't date him because he lacks intelligence and motivation?"
-
simple..."Your IQ prevents me from engaging on any level beyond picking my nose"
Like (4)
-
Your question reminded me of my friend who went out with a woman and on their second date, started with dinner at a high end restaraunt. Durring dinner, she told him that he was a nice guy but just didn't meet her requirement for intelect and so, this was going to be their last date. He said he excused himself after they had eaten, to go to the restroom. Instead, he left the restaraunt with her still at the table. He said " I may not be intellegent enough for her but, she's not too smart either because she got stuck with the bill ".
Like (3)
-
lmao.Like (1)
-
A guy like that doesn't even get an explanation. Why tell him? He should know already. Just say, it is not you, it is me... Leave it at that and move on! Guys like him are psycho and you can't pay them attention, they become stalkers if you do.
Like (3)
-
Well, he's got one thing going for him......he has really good taste in women. Other than that definitely not worthy of you. Just keep avoiding him and turning him down, he'll get the hint and go away.
Like (2)
-
Thanks, you're a sweety.
Like (1)
-
with low IQ use simple words like "drop dead you idiot" dont candy coat it
Like (2)
-
Tell him you want to play the drums and change the world while traveling the world alone. And then say see ya quickly afterwards.
Like (1)
-
Just explain yourself and maybe leave out the lack of motivation and intelligence part since hes a bit of a nut job, better he hear the truth from you then get a lame *** excuse imho. (I want to play guitar and change the world XD, thats gold, not to step on dreams but XD)
Like (1)
-
Just tell him nicely you are not interested. You thought maybe this was a good idea, but he and you are on different tracks, you desire so much more out of life. Let him know that you do not knock him for what he does(drugs) but you have no interest in that, let him know that there is no way the relationship could work, but let him down easy but be honest.
Like (1)
-
If I were you, I'd tell him something like, "I had fun o0n out date but I don't want to go on a nother date with you." If he don't get it, than say exactly what you said in the question, that he "lacks inteligence and motivation".
Like (1)
-
I don't know what ***** is so I can't answer. Maybe you brought out the worst in him?
Like (1)
-
Be careful! He sounds like a total whacko. These are the type that get pissed off and kill you. So don't give him any clue that it is because he is a huge loser. Tell him you are so flattered that he is interested in you but that you are exploring many types of people.
Like (1)
-
Just tell him you decided to be gay. He'll probably believe you.
Like (1)
-
From what you have said, go right ahead and open up a big old can of ***** on him. He deserves it and is probably used to it.
Like (1)
-
I'd go with the simplicity of 3grnowl & TrustIsEarned, but I'd sooo be thinking spooky8!:)
No excuses, no BS, but wished well nonetheless.
Good Luck with that, younglover!:)Like (1)
-
Tell him he's just really not your type and that you're not going to date him any more and you're going to see someone else...don't mention anything about intelligence or motivation (he probably wouldn't understand what you meant).
Like (1)
-
"This isn't working out. I'm looking for a partner who can match my motivation and life interests. You're an interesting guy, but I'm looking for someone who can keep up with my active lifestyle."
Like (1)
-
My guess would be to say I am sorry but you are just not my type.
Like (1)
-
You can lay down the law.
Like (1)
Best Answer (Chosen by Voting):
Posted by 3grnowl Jun 28th, 2012 at 9:04PM
Just tell him you think the two of you are in different places in your life and you don't see a relationship working out between you.
[ Reply ] | Like (5)