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ya we want our cousin to move out...... she's ******* us off. freeloading cuz she hasn't payed us yet for rent or food and is like a second shadow..... but we are just too nice for our own good. we're suffering... but she's too dumb to take hints.... or she is getting them she's just ignoring it... GRAH!!
heyla heyla 18-21 10 Answers Sep 18, 2009

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You need to face the fact that there is no "nice" way to reject someone. Rejection, of any kind, for whatever reason, always hurts. It is NOT "mean" to want someone to stop freeloading. You have that right by most people's standards. But you are looking for a way to do it so it won't hurt her feelings and won't make you feel guilty. The first cannot be accomplished; you WILL hurt her feelings, and she will dramatize that to the max because that's what immature freeloaders do. The second, not feeling guilty, can be accomplished if you just give yourself some mental clarity by asking yourself how you would react to a friend telling you the same story; how would you advise your "friend"?



It's kinda like taking off a bandaid; there is no way it won't hurt but it will hurt less if you just pull it off fast instead of looking hopelessly for a way to do the impossible. Tell her politely and clearly. Then get ready for the manipulat9ve guilt producing tears and phone calls to relatives. Sorry, but that's the only way. Good luck.

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tell her she should start looking for her own apartment, she can't live with you forever. Tell her she has lived with you long enough. You are only helping her out until she can get on her feet. Tell her that you are running out of money to help her and she needs to pitch in, and that if she can't contribute now how will she ever afford her own apartment. Ask probing questions to find out whether she really plans to freeload off you forever. Let her know, your roof your rules--that should get her to move out pretty quick when her lifestyle becomes that of a teenager. There is no way you can fail in getting her to move out!! lol

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Live and let live, I agree!



Don't bathe or do laundry.



You're welcome! (^_^)

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Damn.....you sound evil. That is family you are talking about. COLD!!!!!!

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Yeah, an employee who works here just went through the SAME ordeal...family and all! Because they are family, they will be more inclined to take advantage of you...feeling they have more of a right to do so than any other Tom, **** or Harry. Well, there is really no nice way to break bad news to a freeloader who has become fairly comfortable mooching off of you and your family. Set a deadline..."By such and such time, you must be out." Should you allow them to stay after she hesitantly agrees to 'contribute', mark my words when I tell you that it won't last for long. They will eventually slip back into their old habits and either 'forget to pay you' (causing you to have to humbly ask for what you rightfully deserve) or short you..."I'll pay you the rest next Tuesday...and you won't see another penny! While you wait for the deadline to come up, stop buying food. Yup, starve them outta there! If there isn't anything to eat, there's no reason to stick around. Once their gone, change the locks.

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You can say, "We're sorry but it is time for you to find your own space in the world. We have done the best we can to help, but now it is time for you to find your own place.



She is your cousin? Why isn't she living with her parents? You could suggest that she work on her relationship with her parents. Good Luck!

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You need to accept that you may end up being the bad guy (according to her) and there may not be the kind of ending you are hoping for.



Be upfront, honest, and stick to your guns.



I wish you luck!

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