You sit down, and tell them that you are worried about them....that you have noticed that they drink too much, and you're concerned that it's getting out of hand....and that the drinking is changing them....to the point where you don't enjoy hanging out, like you used to.....Offer to help them....and say it kindly.....Even if they don't get the point right then and there, they will remember that you showed them that you cared.<br />
But, ultimately, it's their decision....and you can't fix it....they have to want that for themselves....so, that may mean distancing yourself from them, so that you don't get into the enabler role....good luck.
Be honest, be stern, stop talking to them if they won't listen. I wish someone had been honest with me 30 years ago, maybe I wouldn't still be battling alcoholism today. Or, being stubborn, maybe I would. You can't "save" your friend, you can only help him to realize the truth of his situation and then hope he cares more about you thank the drink
Just like you phrased the question.<br />
Calmly and respectfully tell them.
tell your friend about the issue and good luck
Like this: "You drink too much and are not enjoyable to go out with anymore." " And its too bad because I really like you but I can't handle the stress. I am going to miss you a lot ."
That's harsh - maybe it would be best to tell them when you are both relaxed, say a weekend afternoon, and be as honest as you can though sensitive to their emotions as you can. Be kind, and don't worry if your friendship suffers for a little while.<br />
What a good friend you are though that you are not backing away, that you are trustworthy and reliable enough to be honest with your friend.<br />
I hope you meet with success.
Just the way you said it here..straight up.. yet nicely.
Not a happy dilema, although I have friends also who have similar problems. <br />
You have got two options: <br />
1) You can sit down and talk about it. This will get it out in the open, but there is the possibility that they will take offence or not take you seriously.<br />
2) I chose to drift and find other friends. Its not the best situation but I subtly chose to only hang out with friends when they were doing stuff that didnt involve drinking excess alcohol. <br />
The reason I chose 2) was because it was benificial to ME. It is surprising the peer pressure to drink excessively when your mates are. It may not be the best option for you though. Think about it.
Tell them when they're sober.<br />
There's no point trying to sugar coat it. Either they'll shape up and thank you for it, or they'll carry on as before and never speak to you again.
You have to love them enough to let them hate you if thats what it takes. I just spent the last 3 years dealing with this. I spent less and less time with my friend because I couldn't deal with the drinking.He didn't think he had a problem I waited to long and when he finally decided to quit the withdrawals killed him. Don't wait for things to get better they won't and make sure your friend gets help if they do decide to quit drinking.
Tell them that they're no fun to drink with because they drink too much. If enough people tell them that, maybe they'll get the message.
I think you should tell them honestly how their behaviour makes you feel. Although you are their friend, you must respect your self and what you will and will not put up with. If you think this friend has an alcohol problem, tell them you think they should tell their doctor or go to AA. I think it's important when you have a friend with addiction problems that you let them take the action to sort it out themselves. Too many people encourage addicts into treatment when they only half-heartedly want to recover. Then you end up spending all your time being responsible for them. For someone to recover from their addiction, they have to REALLY want to stop, and proof of this will be if they take action to seek help by themselves.<br />
This also helps because the more you try and help them or accept their behaviour because you care about them, you are actually facilitating their using. It is hard, but you must act tough (cruel to be kind) around people with addiction problems as this encourages them to see they have a problem more quickly. Make sure you stand up to your friend, giving them message that their drinking is anti social, showing them that it stops them going out with their friends and it is causing them consequences.
Its your best friend, you should feel comfortable to tell them how you feel and be honest about it. Real mates tell each other everything. If your too scared or not confident enough to, then wait till you have the strength to do it so you find the right moment, or you could just say what you feel and be upfront and stop feeling the guilt.
I have been there with someone I know. I had to say something, when they called me in the middle of the night, having done something really dangerous and stupid. I pointed out what the potential consequences of their choice of actions were, then, having told them how much I cared about them, I hung up. Then I prayed they would be OK next morning. Thank God, they were, and have managed to change. If you keep covering for/protecting them, they don't learn. Good luck.
suggest you go on an outing in which alcohol is not involved (i.e. a movie or the diner). if they insist on going to the bar, gently let them know that you don't feel comfortable in that sort of environment with them any longer. let them know that you value their friendship but that you can't drink with them any more.