I'm talking about my husband :( He was a very sick person, **** addict, liar you name it. But I didn't find any of this out until we were already married and he started treating me horribly. He mentally abused me. I was a virgin when we got married and to me it was VERY important that my husband was a virgin too. When we were dating I asked him if he have had sex before and he replied that he was a virgin. About a month after we got married I read a blog that he had written that was secret and in it he explained how he had ********** and several other things. I was destroyed. I need to be able to trust him again, he said he has changed and he actually became a preacher. But I just don't trust him. I need help :( I am miserable. I don't want to get a divorce because we have 2 babies. what can I do?
limsahar limsahar 22-25 6 Answers Jun 26, 2010

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Oh yes, she broke my heart and bank account at the same time.

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If someone has lied to you once most likely they will lie again, so if you do want to trust him again I wish you the best of luck. But you know the saying : "screw me once shame on you, screw me twice shame on me." Maybe you should seek the help of a professional if you want to save your marriage !!

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You shouldn't trust someone who has lied directly to your face. You definitely shouldn't trust someone who can keep up living an entire secret life. He has done it to you in the past, and he can do it again in the future. Everything he ever says to you should be in doubt. People don't change. People can change, but it happens very rarely. And when people pretend to change, finding God is the oldest excuse in the book. Have you lied to him? You deserve better.

Get your marriage annulled, since it was based upon false pretenses. Keep your babies away from him. And, if by some miracle he actually has changed, you can marry him again in five years or so. Remember, he can probably control this behavior for a few weeks or a few months. Anyone can. But eventually his true self will come to the surface. Even after a few years you may still never be sure, only time can tell.

I know you won't follow this advice, so I hope I am wrong. But I apologize on behalf of males everywhere.

Edit: Oh, and get yourself an AIDS test.

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You need to reassess your priorities. Virginity was important to you because?

His lying to you was normal for men. Men lie. Men use lieing to get what they want. There would be no marriage and no children without men lieing. Men tell you "you are the most beautiful girl in the world", that they "will love you forever", that "you don't look fat in that dress", that "your farts smell like flowers"! Men are trained to lie and use those lies to win you over, then keep on lieing to keep you happy.

Your man is no different than most men. He is now afraid of losing you and will lie even more.

You want someone who will not lie to you? Marry a woman.

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