How does a dominant male recognize a submissive female? Where would people go to meet others in this lifestyle?
32 Answers to "How does a dominant male recognize a submissive female? Where would people go to meet others in this lifestyle?"
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Usually the submissive female, upon sensing the Dominant male will leave a few clues, such as the way she conducts herself...quiet, somewhat repressed, following his lead, waiting for him to decide...what to do, where to go, what to do....she will never interrupt him, she dresses conservatively, generally..and wants no attention drawn to herself. The Dom of course, may subtlety question her her, testing her all the while..trying to get her to make a decision..which she will pass to him..."you decide"..he may tease..and offer a spanking..and in return get a "promises, promises"....he will notice that her glance is usually down..unless interested..wanting him..his protection, her desire to be "taken in hand"...she wants his trust...his devotion..his protection...and most of all the excitement of the relationship where she can give herself fully...where she can do away with the societal mores..and release her inner vixen..her inner ****...and just be his woman...to be taken..where he decides, when he decides, and how he decides...as the relationship grows. And i differ with Eligible Owner in his response, that Munches are "scene" events, lol! Munches are just what they sound like, a meal..where people of like minds gather and talk....and since they are held in public restaurants, with straight vanilla people also dining...i believe it might be dificult, and ultimately embarassing to roll out a St. Andrews Cross, at the local Chinese Buffet, to conduct a "scene" and whip some butt!! i don't think that would go over too well!!
there are many attractions to the lifestyle..all different for each. you must first ask yourself why you think you are attracted..do you wish to be held? kept prisoner? tied..raped, used? maybe you wish to be owned? and if you are saddled with resposibility, you may wish to be released from it all...give it to your master...and then give yourself to him...in turn..!!Like (15)
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In general most women are submissive in their own way. We find ourselves as the ones who follow his every thoughts and being of life. I didn't know I was that way until I found a Dom and he proved me wrong. I didn't realize that I was waiting for his response, waiting for his questions, allowing him to use me at his will and never really looking at him until he asked me too. He knew I was when he looked at me and I found myself looking down from his eyes from the first and very first glance and eye contact. When he touched me on my shoulder, I didn't move until he gave me a gentle push. He didn't rush me into anything but it became easy. He was in control and took it with such demand that I was truly happy to give it to him. He said that at first glance he knew I would be His and that I would be His submissive.
There are Dom men out there but the real ones are truly hard to find. I find that it's not a lifestyle but a true to just plain life. It's something that you don't have to figure out it's just done. Nothing is asked, it's a demand from the beginning of your first conversation with him. A submissive woman can tell when he first speak because you will never dominate the conversation with a true Dom.Like (5)
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Those who understand learn to respect it and never come to think that the slave is a doll, and indeed, sometimes they will also have the pleasant surprise of finding a person in front of a little 'special, maybe not as beautiful as Miss World, but in neurons whose head is certainly no shortage.
Master is not born of nature is born dominant ... is not born a slave ... you are born with submissive nature. A Master is born when one recognizes the slave power. And 'a will ... together ... can not become masters at the expense of anyone. We meet on the same path, with different roles, both because we follow our natureLike (5)
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you hit that one square on the head.Like (1)
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When an ALPHA male is near females the strongest ******* become loving and tender... IF HE IS WORTHY...... If he is truly (in his soul) not alpha the female will eventialy turn bitter as her instincts to be w an ALPHA over ride her cultural inperitive to be with the "nice" guy......... So to answer the question simply...... THE MORE ALPHA TENDANCYS HE HAS THE LESS HE HAS TO "look" ....... Even fairly submisive girls are bitchy around a punk where as the coralary is, even ALPHA females are demure around true ALPHA men.
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hello. I am normally a dominant person in every sense. I have 2 admit that when my Dom told me that I was perfect 2 be his submissive I thought he was full of crap. but I have come 2 realize all I want is 2 make him happy. and completely give myself 2 his wants, needs. it. is mind blowing and intense and I am his submissive. however, away from him I'm dominant again. is it possible 2. walk this fine line and be happy?
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THIS ........is exactly what I was illastrating! & YES you can be encreadably happy and fufilled in THIS relationship... If you are honest with your self as to who and what you are!
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Thank u 4 answering. It seemed like every note/story I read says 1 thing...that the submissive is her 1 personality trait. I was more unsure of myself
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Depending on where you are, BDSM groups sometimes hold 'munches' which are social gatherings so that new people can get to know those in the scene on a social level, chat and perhaps be invited to a more intimate get-together.
My introduction to the scene was like this, after which I went to a rope workshop and was fortunate enough to be invited to try my learning on the partner of one of those there. My then wife had been worried that I wouldn't look after her and didn't want anything to do with going.
Sometimes it's more about a submissive female recognising a dom male and making an approach.
The net has meant that it's easier than ever to find like minded people and resources.
The "why am I attracted to the lifestyle" question depends lots on your environment now, your upbringing and early influences. When living a very busy life with no time for self, sometimes it feels great to hand responsibility to someone else to make the decisions, and focus on pleasing them. Opening trust to another at a really deep level is freeing, exciting, scary, stimulating and never dull. I lived more in 3 years like that than I had all the years before. My character has changed somewhat over the recent 3 years, but I still have subbie tendancies.
Happy to hear more about what troubles you about having these desires....Like (4)
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I am a submissive female and I totally agree that submission is entirely dependent on the personality of the other. In daily non-sexual life I am not submissive to anyone, but when I am sexually attracted to a Dominant male, then I become immediately and extremely submissive. I'm talking about what we could call "natural Doms" or rather, repressed Doms, men who are Doms but who don't know it in a sexual way. The actualized Doms I have met I have nevr been attracted to.
My problem is that I have been wishing to meet a Dom I am attracted to for so long that I now fear it will never happen. I do regularly see men in the street, for instance, who I am very attracted to, but if and when I ever get to know them, they never turn out to be Dominant. The only Doms I have ever met online and in real life, I'm afraid I have just not found attractive. I don't know why this is, but it is extremely discouraging. I think any Dom who is the least bit successful and/or attractive is just snatched right up by one of the thousands of single subs out there. It makes me feel very disheartened and forlorn.
I have given up on internet sites such as Fetlife. I just NEVER meet anyone I am intellectually or physically attracted to on them - not even a little bit. It saddens me so much. I can't just be submissive to anyone who happens to be dominant. I have to be sexually attracted to him too! Some Doms I have not been attracted to have told me "Oh you are too picky." But it's not a matter of being too picky. If you are not attracted to someone, then you just aren't! and that's it.
This has led me to wracking my brains about how on earth I could somehow communicate with the men I see in real life who I am at least attracted to, to find out whether or not they are Doms. Does anyone have any ideas what a sub could do to communicate without totally humiliating herself in front of a vanilla? It may be impossible. But it would be nice for us, wouldn't it? Perhaps we would not even need the internet if we just had some way of communicating the question to a stranger.
Recently I did experiment with this. I saw a moderator at a talk who I thought might be Dominant, and I could tell that he was attracted to me physically from the way he looked at me before and after the talk. I sent him an email asking him straight out whether he was sexually Dominant and if so did he want a slave. He wrote me back saying he did remember me from the talk, but that he was not dominant and if anything submissive. :P So much for my experiment.
Sometimes I look at pictures of my gay male friends on Flickr and think that I should have been a gay male - D/s is so much more normal and accepted in the gay male community, and it seems everything would be so much easier. I don't have much hope of ever being able to live my true sexuality in this life. I am not getting any younger, and it just seems too impossible.
Anyway, perhaps this post has been useful to some Doms whoLike (3)
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Hugs. It is difficult and I wish you the best. Be positive, you will meet him some day. But they do say you will not find love looking...it will happen in its own time. Frustrating? Yes, but true. There are clubs if you can afford them, but too many wannabes out there..online and in life.
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I could be wrong - it's hard to know everything from a few paragraphs... but it seems like you have a lot of ideas about how you wish to be acted upon, but very few about how you yourself should act. I apologize in advance if this comes across as overly harsh, but what have you done to submit? What do you bring to the table that is worthy of domination? What about you would satisfy a "natural dominant"? These aren't questions I need answered, but questions to which you should know the answer. People seem to forget that there is more to submission than being present and non-objecting. Again, I hope you will forgive a brash analogy. As a teenager, I had a dishtowel under my bed that I could use anytime I needed, for any purpose I chose; Whenever I wanted, and only when I wanted - sometimes several times a day. No matter how available, and no matter how 'not-unwilling' that towel was, it could not be said to have submitted to me. As an inanimate object, to be acted upon, it could not possibly submit. Even if it had a will to relinquish, that is not quite enough. There is a world of difference between the relinquishment of will to another, and actively choosing to submit to another. To retain your will, and choose without hesitation to offer your submission is a far more compelling thing than being present and silently amenable to the concept. Your requirements are very specific. You are looking for someone who is innately dominant, but who is not yet aware of this. These requirements require something of you, as well. You have to understand the needs of someone who has been programmed by society their entire life, that male sexual and behavioral dominance is an unwanted relic of the past. However, when you choose to actively submit to a person - you will quickly discover who is or is not capable of being the dominant you need. At first, it may mean that you are topping from the bottom a bit as you establish the boundaries for what will (by your own definition) be a completely new experience for your partner. It will be much easier to find the kind of person you are looking for, once you learn how to communicate your submission more effectively.
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I'm 25, a man from Canada.
The matter of being dominant has a ton of irreverent assumptions.
The most commen being height and age. I have never had the alpha aura. I was the class clown in highschool, work ext...
I learned from experiance with girls that I am a dominant male as a person truly.
From lightly grasping tender necks to fastening limbs to furniture, I have dominated girls since I've been 16.
In actual life I am the nicest, funny, warm hearted individual.
The difference between me and the average Dom is that I respect the female race.
I understand nature however and that every female young or old deserves a chance to prove worthy as a submissive.
Dominants asking for help to find submissives Is an oxymoron.
Hastverk1@gmail.com
How is this spam?
HERE IS MY EDIT.Like (3)
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i am very new to this but im looking for a dom and i have no clue as to when, where or how to look. im not a very submissive people in life. and i feel like i need a dom to remind me how to be a woman again. in fact im the dominant one most of my relationships but when im with a dominant person it surprises me how submissive i am and i like it. where do i start. looking to be put in my place
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Nothing better than turning a Dominant woman submissive... My favorite pastime :) hinthintLike (1)
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Dear Sir, Where are you from? If I may be so bold as to ask. It always seems that every real dom I meet on line is either from another part of the country or isn't really real.Like (1)
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hi, i was thinking the same thing. im totally new but uve always wanted to be in a D/s relationship. im a tital beginner and ive alot to learn but at the same time i know what i want. firstly i dont want to go to parties with people on leads wearing rubber and gimp mask nor do i want a sadist or just a domineering person. i want a experienced master. a dominant who has taken time to learn. attended workshops or seminars perhaps. a man who evercises complete control but in a subtle way. an authoritarion, caring but powerful. shows respect consideration &empathy who takes time for everyone. who can teach me through encouragement not threats. who understands as a new submissive i will be wary but teaches me gently allowing trust. someone i can put first. pay attention too. to accept their authority care and nuture and show my desire to submit intimatly. is such D/s even real or can i only find such a dom in my fantasy?
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You won't find one overnight, but they do exist. Take your time getting to know someone. If they push you into a relationship before you are ready, they are not who you are looking for:)
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You should look at the whole guy, the full package and then if that is what you want dig in a little deeper to his uniqueness. Talk - Make Love ( hard & gentle ) Toung Time, let him give you a good workout.
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If you're a submissive woman who wants to let dominant men know, there are subtle, and not-so-subtle, clues you can give through jewelry. Here are a couple of examples:
A subtle "O" necklace:
http://www.artfire.com/uploads/product/5/665/17665/6517665/6517665/large/bdsm_submissive_o_ring_day_collar_6mm_in_black_only_lobster_claw_clasp_de541a06.jpg
A not-so-subtle bracelet:
http://www.artfire.com/admin/product_images/thumbs/--90000--69683_product_186684644_2_thumb_large.jpgLike (2)
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Now that I never considered:)
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Yes! Great questions! Where do men and women go to meet their match and... to play? I've struck up relationships with perhaps a dozen submissive women on Fetlife. The relationships last a while then ebb away due to many reasons... women wanting a lover not a DOM, women wanting to be slaves rather than a sub, women not being able to get away from their husbands, women working at jobs with incompatable hours, women looking for a husband, etc. It is always a shame to see a BDSM opportunity wasted since it takes a long time to develop a close relationship. Communications are so important!!! My last experience ended because we lost the place we played.
Jacob in BurienLike (2)
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One super reliable way:
Dance with them.
You will feel it in her body whether she responds by listening and surrendering into your direction fully or by making her own physical voice louder and trying to get that sort of back and forth going.
I danced with the most AMAZING sub. At first I didn't realize what I had, but then I noticed how much her body softly yielded to my every movement. She wasn't just doing the moves I was telling her, she had a stillness about her in the in betweens, waiting and listening quietly to my body talk, when I discovered what she was doing I let my body roar :)
It was beautiful and raw and powerful, I knew at the end of the song because of how much of a man it made me feel and from the awestruck and beaming smile on her face I knew she felt like a woman in my arms.
Every woman dancer wants to be led, but not all are truly a sub. I just dance and relish those beautiful moments when I stumble upon one.
Note, I have not personally experienced the BDSM lifestyle, my perspective comes from being a Tango/Blues dancer who privately dabbles in Tantra and internal martial arts. There's a bit of crossover of the dance and BDSM scenes where I live.Like (2)
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You can try BDSM.com.. I am a submissive female.. And I met my Dom there.!!
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Hi, Im very confused on what to do. Im only just now starting to realize I do things in very submissive tendencies. Not only am I currently in a relationship but he is so far from a Dom you might as well be comparing black and white. I cant just forget my submissive personality because it just 'is'. Whats your opinion on this Im so upset over thinking this isn't the relationship for me and making him unhappy.
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I'm a submissive female who is married to a non-dominant male. He seemed dominant in the beginning (and it made me wild) but as the years have gone by....I don't know. What I do know is that I'm in a relationship where I'm craving what he won't give me and I can't ask for it because I'm submissive. I can't screw around because he's my everything and I can't leave because I'm faithful (although if I thought he'd punish me, I'd do it). Anybody have any thoughts on this ****** up situation? lol
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I'm using a regular dating site and a Dom has approached me, aggressively so. I'm intrigued because I have no use for meek, mild mannered men at all. But I also know that I'm obstinate, bratty, and sassy...he already told me that just judging from my profile he is definitely interested and is demanding that we meet. I'm frankly a little bit afraid, but also don't want to miss this opportunity...what to do...
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meet in an open neutral place where there are plenty of other people. Be safe about this.
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She gets nervous when you talk to her.
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Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):
Posted by HumbledFemales Aug 19th, 2012 at 6:53PM
The first step in finding a submissive female is to determine if you truly are a dominant male to begin with. Many men, young and old, assume they have what it takes to manage and lead a woman, but find out (or worse yet, never realize) that they have been played and duped by clever, subversive females only good at posturing in such a vein.
If you are keen to the ways females manipulate men and seduce them from their own self-sovereignty, if you are in control of your own libidinous desires and are not easily swayed by the common tactics of XX chromosome sycophants, then you're ready to "see" submissive women for what they are, not simply what women appear to be on the surface.
With that in mind, submissive women can appear as anything on the surface. The simple fact of the matter is submission is often contextual to the personality of another. Beyond this, a humble, quiet, and deferring nature, gleaned over a long period of time (not simply a snapshot happenstance), is a fairly good indicator of submissiveness. As for finding them, they are everywhere, really. Internet networks, colleges, your local church, dating sites, etc., are all sources in finding women with the "bug," so to speak. It's the *actualized* female in her own submission you may wish to find, and if so, I'd highly suggest sites like Fetlife.com or (our site) HumbledFemales.net
I wish you luck in your endeavors.
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Reply by moondancelady Aug 19th, 2012 at 6:56PM
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Reply by johnlava Nov 30th, 2012 at 5:30AM
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