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irisfromohio irisfromohio 56-60, F 14 Answers Sep 29, 2012 in Struggles

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I'm in the same boat as you, hon. I have people telling me left and right that I am a special person. So giving, caring, and loving... and that I have a lot to offer someone. The trouble is, nobody seems to want all of that stuff that I have to offer. If I knew how to bag a man who would value me for all of the good things that I could bring into his life, I would share it in a heartbeat. I think that a lot of people are right when they say that self acceptance and love is a good start. I know that when I feel better about myself, it shows outwardly and other people take notice. I had one male coworker of mine tell me that I was hot. When I told him I didn't understand because I wasn't skinny, he said, "Hot is an attitude... a state of mind. Not a size." Mind you, said coworker has never initiated anything with me, but it really got me thinking that maybe there is something to that. I know it can be hard (I'm working on it myself) but finding confidence and love within yourself can only benefit you. Much love for you and good luck.

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hi first u need to stop the fat and less than attractive stuff.i guy is more likely to be friends with u if your not always putting your self down.so smile put on a happy face and come talk to me i never have to many friends hope to hear back from u

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It is not easy it takes much more effort than a average sized lady.. Like it or not men are attracted to what they see first, then they look inside, if they like they stay and If not they leave.. But to make it start the other way around you have to give a lot of extra effort and a lot more than average confidence to compensate for what he can't see.. Life is unfair, and some people are rich some are pretty some are smart some have2 things but no one has it all!

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See I love my big wife,she moves me wherever I want to be carried to bedroom.


The thing is if someone is not in good shape,maybe walking in mall my eyes will be fixed to someone else and ill be watching my rear view mirror if you don't mind being a size of my mum.

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There is someone out there for everyone. And what are you looking for? A serious relationship? A fling? An ego boost and some flirting? I know one of the comments was to get into shape. I am pretty thick, and thank God for men who love big woman. My weight hasn't always been up there and believe me...I'm working on getting into shape again. But having a man in my life isn't my biggest priority. My big goal is to be happy and content with me. I've recently made some significant changes in my life and not all of them have been the greatest, but sometimes things get worse before they get better. Get in good with yourself and prioritize you and you will find "it" when you didn't even realize you were looking.

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Great advice!

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Be kind and show genuine interest in someone, as a person.

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Just be yourself :)

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Everyone keeps telling me I need to clean up and get a makeover to make myself feel more confident. I think they're hinting that I should be looking for a man. But this must be a good idea since people keep bringing it up.

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If you go looking for a man when you don't feel that great about yourself, you will only attract morons who will use you... better to work on being an improved version of yourself and then your confidence will attract MUCH nicer people!

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Yeah, believe it or not, I have been this route. I got nothing. I have come to a point where I don't know what I am looking for. Moreover, it has demolished my trust. It is difficult when I am being realistic about my physical appearance, but no one believes me. I know what is inside is important, but get men who are so visual to buy into it and we will be getting some where.

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If you aren't confident within yourself and comfortable with yourself you'll doubt you have chance with men you need to work on your self loving first off

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i say keep trying and be social kind but have morals of course

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BBW sites..and Im sure you are beautiful

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I have tried this too. Unfortunately, the same standards men have in person apply to people online. I never mentioned that I am African American and when you go to those sites, they are looking for white women. Even the black men are. *sigh* I should have known better than to post this! I don't know what's wrong with me. No one believes me.

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