if he was raising the child it is his child still, a piece of paper saying he isn't the biological father doesn't mean he isn't the moral father
I don't know how a man would cope with that..it would be soul destroying. But think of it from this aspect..he's the only dad this child has had..he's still dad to this child...and hopefully their bond is strong enough to give him the strength he needs.<br />
i'd want to do harm to the kids mother. That's a despicable thing to do.
I imagine he would feel very betrayed and confused, the compassionate side of him would probably shut down automatically to protect itself and he would likely become a suspicious bastard.
As a woman, if my husband cheated on me and got another woman pregnant, I would not only divorce him but I would play very very dirty, and my compassion would go out the window. I would be unforgiving. I would hate him forever. Raising the child as my own? I would not even consider it!! The other woman is likely to be a huge *****, and think I was "stealing" her child. On the other hand, if it was a guarantee she would be completely out of the picture and the kid would never try to find the *****, I would raise the child as my own with no problem....assuming I could ever get over the cheating part. I think that the other woman also would deserve a lot of punishment. No woman who cheats with a married man and is stupid enough to get pregnant is fit to be a mother in the first place. Cheating with someone who's married as well as helping a married man cheat, both ought to be illegal.<br />
The situation is very different for a man, a woman always knows if it's her child or not. As a man, that kind of betrayal would make me equally angry as it would as a woman, I would feel robbed, taken advantage of, raped for my resources, used, manipulated....I would hate that ***** with every grain of my being. I would definitely still raise the child as my own if the...other man? was out of the picture AND if so was the woman. If I had full custody and she had no custody and not even visitation I would totally raise it as my own. If she was in the picture I would not. I can only speculate because I am not a man but that is what I think I would do. <br />
I think in that situation, the woman DEFINITELY deserves to go to jail!! Because as a woman I would not use resources on a child that was not mine, and could not be tricked into doing so. The man would not be aware the child isn't his. To me, that is exactly the same as her robbing him, and she's using him, she also lied to him...let's just start with the fact that cheating is grounds for divorce. The cheater does not have any credibility in a divorce case, because it's 100% the cheater's fault, so they should always lose out in a divorce because they cheated, but to lie to someone, and use them, and betray them, is just so low down and dirty...<br />
I cannot respect a woman who is that conniving, desperate, uncaring and selfish.
You mean , like Harry? I won't pass any broad judgement out of context.
I'd love the child, but be very upset at its mother.
Well it doesn't sit well that's for sure. My husbands ex wife did that. She actually told me their second son wasn't his. He (my husband) was always suspicious but raised the kid anyway. Can't say they are close in fact we haven't heard from him in years. I don't think he ever knew but it's a bad situation all around<br />
Personally I don't think it should matter except for the lying, but I was adopted so I have a different slant on things.
If he has spent time and has a relationship with this child, best to think of the little one first. Don't blame the child for their mother's lies.
At first I would be so hurt and betrayed I would have to leave her for a while to think about it.<br />
Perhaps I would return, perhaps not.
The child doesn't suffer that much, if one of the men takes the responsibility of fatherhood. A friend of mine is raising a child that isn't his (his woman cheated and got pregnant). He made the choice to raise the child and love it as his own. Both [adopting] father and son are really good for each other.