How is that I seem to fall in the trap where people use me?

By your behavior. We teach others how to treat us by what we will put up with and what we won't put up with.

I feel you. you fall in the trap because you are better than they are.

You're a giver and you are surrounding yourself with takers....

Once upon a time, i fell into the exact trap you're talking about,..and then i woke up!

I have been having the same problem. All my life I believe. It seems there should be the simple answer... "because you are too nice, don't know when to say no, you allow it to happen. But it's not that simple. I think certain unfortunate people (like myself) attract these sorts of people for a number of reasons. And while attracting "users" you also are very unappealing to people who don't USE. I think it's very complex... Actually. With me, I see that I feel the need to surround myself with needy people. For a long time (childhood) I was made to feel like I was an annoyance... A incompetent worthless kid that couldn't please my primary caregiver no matter how hard I tried. So when I got a bit older and found out I could please people by giving them anything, doing favors, even telling lies to cover up for them... I did so eagerly because I was starved with the need to be a useful, appreciated person who was capable of pleasing others. Even at my own expense was better than nothing. So I sought out friends who filled that hole for me. It carried on over into adulthood. Now I don't quite know how to break the "cycle" I created. I get very angry and defensive now if anyone seems to be on the path to using me. I have no friends and I only trust my husband. I can't find a way to get passed it and am depressed that I had to cut off all my user "friends". They were all I had outside my husband and kids. Nobody else wants anything to do with me... But I can't allow myself to be used. At least I have my husband and kids. I might go crazy without them. I make sure my babies know I appreciate all and any efforts they put forth. I don't want them to end up like me.

teach yourself to say no and perhaps be more selfish would do because in the end you should ask yourself am i happy doing this?