It is so variable<br />
because people are<br />
Don't go there, if there has already been a marital **** up what is there to prevent the same thing happening again?
Fair enough, this is a forum after all. Thank you for your reflection
For me, I think that a person has to reflect on the fact that they have already made one mistake. So no real measurement of time, but enough to reflect on why things went wrong and learn from it, don't go choosing the same type of person again, just with different packaging. Also with a child involved, important that things are settled with custody etc before bringing another person into potential conflict and the home. The child's well being has to be first and foremost. And lastly you really want to be as sure as you can about that person, no good bringing another person into the child's life, only for them to have to say "goodbye" further down the road.
I wish you all the best then. I guess my reply was a long way of saying there is no set time, more that all concerned are ready for the commitment. I am not with my husband, he has another girlfriend and baby, me no. I would never live with another man while my children live here, but that is me and mine are older and used to it being just us. So best wishes for the future.
Just remember it is hard for the mother to see another woman with her child. Believe me I had to pray real hard on that. Most important thing are my children's needs I guess and it is better they get on/like their father's girlfriend (haha, more praying needed never use the word stepmother hahahaha). So tread carefully there is a thin line. Some things that have happened I have really had to bite my tongue over, but my kids are nearly grown so easier to let go. So again wish you all.
I'm wondering who is in a hurry to get in another relationship right after they get free of a dysfunctional one? A person needs to have some transition time to themselves first. A rebound relationship never lasts and is often more dysfunctional that the one a person just left.
So, you don't really want any opinions or advice. You're really looking for validation? Judging by your responses, it seems that what you really want
I have never been in your situation but if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Did you cheat with the person you want to get married to? In my opinion, adulterous relationships are flawed from the get-go. It is not until the people involved understand their part in the divorce and understand they need relationship-nurturing skills and then, actually obtain relationship-nurturing skills that remarriage should even be contemplated. Also if it were up to me, remarriage would not be able to take place until there was family and pre-marriage counseling..... Family counseling involved in helping the step parent-to-be and the bio-parent understand their roles and their affect on the child(ren)... the child(ren) would be incorporated in order to help the child understand in an age-appropriate way what is going on in their parents' lives and help them make sense of this adult issue. Adulterous relationships are another story. Once a cheater, always a cheater especially if the cheater was trying to escape themselves by cheating and hurting their spouse. Some cheaters believe their marriage is at fault for their unhappiness but no matter where you physically go or fall into a relationship with, you always take yourself and therefore, all of the personal issues you have that led you to harm your family or someone else's.