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I have a friend who presents himself really well. Come across as very intelligent, cultured, and mannered. But when you get to know him he's kind of a mean person. Very selfish and would be egotistical if it weren't for his learned humbleness. Is this the kind of person you would want to be around? Do you feel like after a while people's true selves really come out? Why is this? Or do you think he's just like this around me?
JayLee23 JayLee23 26-30, M 3 Answers Jul 5 in Dating & Relationships

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I don't think he's like that just around you. He's just known you well enough to show his true colors. When some one shows you their true colors, believe them. I've known many people like this. I've fallen for their surface presentations of themselves. In falling for that, I ended up letting my wife date a guy like you've discribed whom treated my wife like **** and is the sole reason my wife is now my ex-wife, and the sole reason she is utterly convinced anyone who claims to love her lies through their teeth and cannot be trusted. Why people are like that? I don't know. But after the guy that cost me my wife/my best friend..... I've learned to be more careful about who I let in my life and whom I share with.

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yeah, he's already brought a great deal of bad into my life by way of introducing me to my ex who put me through hell and got me arrested. I just feel like he's a bad apple and eventually it's gonna come back around. I just don't want to be in the general vicinity when the **** hits the fan or worse. not sure how to get out of the friendship at this point though

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People differ. While we all do "impression management", some are more honest in what they present. Some people reveal themselves quite easily and quickly, others only show their true selves much later.I have a preference for the former type.

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