How long should I wait for a commitment?
I have been talking to a guy for about a month now. I'm 20 and he's 21. He told me he didn't know what he was looking for, but that he liked me & wanted to continue talking & see where this goes. How long is ok to continue "talking" to him, without figuring out if he is going to take the next step or not?
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5 Answers to "How long should I wait for a commitment?"
Posted by cpgnatly Sep 17th, 2012 at 3:14PM
You should never wait for a commitment. If he wants to talk and you want to talk, talk. If some other guy is more interesting for more than talking, take advantage of it. Don't count on the next step. Just make sure if you decide to not take the next step with him, you aren't going to regret it.
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Posted by njsouth Sep 17th, 2012 at 3:12PM
Maybe three months and see where it goes and then after that let him know that u want to start something more
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Posted by LilAnnie Sep 17th, 2012 at 4:04PM
THe age old question that every woman needs to know at some time. If you really like him enough to be exclusive, nothing says you can't make yourself irresistible. That is your assignment....make him mad about you.... use your feminine wiles...then in a few months, let him know that you want to be exclusive and if not you will move on. Good luck.
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Posted by Tummytocker Sep 17th, 2012 at 3:44PM
Don't. Just get on with your life and if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then what have you lost?
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Posted by FrankRazorclaw Sep 17th, 2012 at 3:28PM
The whole point of waiting to see where it goes is...to wait and see where it goes. Such a relationship may result in a commitment, but it may not, too.
It's important to remain honest with yourself and with him about where the relationship (if you're calling it that) is, and where you want it to go. He might not have any idea what he wants for a while, but bringing it up once in a while (ie, not every time you see him) isn't unreasonable. It's much, much too early to tell where things are going to go after a month. Relationships do develop at different rates, but some relationships that grow too quickly burn out just as fast. Some relationships that grow too slowly can leave one side feeling insecure.
You might also just have a genuinely shy guy - if things are going too slowly for you, and you have reason to believe you can trust him, ask him to join you for something in a direct, nonsubtle way (in the talking phase, subtle hinting is most likely going to confuse him and upset you). If you think he should take the initiative in starting activities, it's okay to tell him that, too - "It'd be really nice if you were to ask me out" is sometimes just the wake up line a guy needs to hear.
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