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holahoopqueen holahoopqueen 51-55, F 15 Answers Mar 19, 2012

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However long until you are comfortable with the idea.

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When you can see your life including someone else. That is different for every one so I really don't think anyone can tell you a right time frame. Your heart will tell you when.

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SInce you are asking this question, I believe somebody is already in your mind. I may be wrong. Its not abt wht other people say. If you are comfortable with it move on.

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Don't go by conventional wisdom (whatever that is) or by what "they say"; judge by your internal clock. If you are tapping your fingers waiting for some artificial time, its too long. If people talk, so be it.

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How long to wait is not a hard and fast number. It hinges on your own grief recovery. You have the Stages of Grief to pass through which is an individual journey and takes however long it takes. If the decreased has been ill for some time, the grief process begins prior to the actual death and you may complete it relatively soon after the death which in short means you may be ready before any established time frame.

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I'd say 6 months to a year ... give you time to readjust .... to life etc .....

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Now is right

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losing a spouse to divorce or death?

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Death ... myself and the guy I am dating both lost our spouses to death! I ask as his daughter has a huge problem with him dating!

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At your age, you need to you have no time to lose! Mind you, I'm about ten years younger than you and if me and Mrs tarq went our separate ways, I probably wouldn't bother again.

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lol what DO you mean "at your age"??? This woman is still at a very lively productive age and actually should have a number of years to enjoy life and love. Go for it Holohoop

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Ha ha, no offence meant, I'm just aware that my spring chicken has sprung. I'm just an aging rooster, afraid of losing my roost!

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Thank you !!! LOL and my boyfriend is 7 years younger than me so yes I have decieded to go for it!!

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You should start when you feel ready.

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This is a toughie. It all depends on how long you were together and how close of a couple you were. If it were me in that situation (God forbid!!), it would take me AT LEAST 3-5 years.



Don't let anyone judge you if you feel you're ready to move on though. Only you know what's right for yourself.

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This is a toughie.. for me I knew for five years that he was going to die.. I cried every day for five years,, could,nt imagine life with out him... still miss him every day.. but time heals and now I just try to remember the good times!

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Hola your grief has been prolonged already as it started with the news that your loved one was terminal. It did not end with his death for he will always have a special place in your heart. This is natural and as it should be but I would suspect that as the time of death approached you were nearing acceptance. You know best when the pain has lessened and you are ready to go forward. Best wishes to you. Trust in God and in yourself -it is time for you to know happiness..

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I very much trust in God!!!! Yes he will allways have a special place in my heart He was and always will be the love of my life!!!

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I think they told my dad its 6 months to every year you were married. I think that greatly depends on the relationship though

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Wow according to that I should wait 16 years!!! I think it depends on when you accpet the situation. Everone moves on in their own time. Just asking as I am dating a guy that also lost his spouse and he moved on quiclky and he is being judged for that! I don't think he was as happy in his marriage as everyone may have thought!

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that was my dad's reaction pretty much exactly although he did get married again because he is very dependent on a woman figure being in the home. Never the less I think it varies greatly depending on realtionship and personalities

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ah and this was 'how long it takes to get over a death' which is different from 'how long before its good to start dating'

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Yes there is a differance ... I watched my husbund suffer and cared for him for five years.. so it was actually a relief when he passed! I dated a year later and meet mr wrong!

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agreed. When my fathers wife died my family didnt understand why it was so easy for me to move on because her and I were close. Well its because I had the tools to let someone go but that took years of introspective education long before this situation came up. So I do think it varies greatly.

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agree.. so sad that other people that do not even know your pain dare to judge you!! I think it takes a strong person to move on and start over! Or even want to start over!

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agreed..people as a whole would be better served if they minded their own business. :)

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The guy I have been dating for a year has a 28 year old daughter and she says he did not love his wife because he moved on and started dating.. we have been dating a year now and his daughter has disowned him!!!

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