If you can accept that the body can end a pregnancy when something has gone really wrong with fetal cellular development, due to which the fetus could not develop any further and would not have sustained its own life it should help. IT IS NOT YOUR "FAULT". As for grieving it comes in 5 stages.... Denial, bargaining, anger,depression and acceptance.(not necessarily in that order.) See Kubler-Ross Model~ Wikipedia. I wish you comfort and recovery. Hugs
Its very hard to get over feelings of being a failure as a woman and a mother. I'm an alcoholic and I had a molar pregancy and used very hard. I was stuffing myself with anything and crying out to my mate constantly about failure. I'm sober now and I feel at peace wirh it. Tori amos is an artist (musical) who is someone who pubically expressed her pain. The album From the Choirgirl Hotel has many songs on it about her dealing with it. And youtube has plenty of interviews. Sometimes its nice to hear someones experience who so wloquently spwaks as a lyricist. She has a history of being raw also. <br /><br />
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I recommend her music and interviews as part of coping.
One can never completely get over it. No matter when, the memories of the lost child are triggered by little things like the date u knew u were carrying, or the EDD.<br />
Talking about it helps ease the pain... with the father of the child, or close family/friends. Cry whenever needed.... <br />
Know that it was NOT your fault.
no Rae it is not.
No.. It's not! You are such a kind-hearted person who fell in love with the baby despite the circumstances in which 'it' happened. If the baby had to come, he/she would have without any problem.
He/she has become your guardian angel... Looking from above!
if you have to cry.. cry your heart out.. .. i feel for you... the memory will remain.. but the feelings.. as for what i have heard.. time heals all wounds...
.... it is really hard i know...there are things beyond our control... and everything happens for a reason.... if you feel any hate... scream your heart out... if you miss your dear baby.... write her a letter... ...tie it in a balloon and let the wind take it to the clouds..
it is inevitable to be scared... if you are so scared.. you can always hide.. time will make you stronger...
oh rae. so sorry about this. it will take time for you to mend and begin to heal in order to move on. just take it one day at a time.
I don't think most ever get over it. Many live with it, missing the one they lost, like my daughter did.
She calls me at night and we talk about it and cry about it. It can take awhile. The only thing I can offer is that as with her, just not old enough to have a child yet - my daughter was 16 and is now 20 with a one year old
I do what I can.