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Only one, and it has to be done in missionary position or they go to hell

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They don't. Light bulbs aren't mentioned in the Bible, so they're "just a theory."

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All of them: instead of getting there and changing it, they'll all clasp their hands in prayer and hope for a miracle. Guess what? Nothing happens.

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None, they can't. They will be arguing about what is the mostly Godly way to do this from the Bible.

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Twelve, one to screw it in, and the rest to give thanks...

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Zero. Real Christians will just sit around praying for the Lord to make the lightbulb work.

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