When you get married....I believe that it's not right to sleep with someone, without being married.....(I know, this puts me in a huge minority, but that's okay)
I work with women who sleep around and they always wonder why no one wants to marry them.
Respect yourself enough not to have sex before marriage.
Not being a member of the Moral Majority or the **** Puppy Brigade I would say when you feel it's right. There's no magic number. But you should feel comfortable, safe and cared for first.
I think when you feel comfortable. I don't think there is a magical number of dates before you can sleep with someone, its just when you feel that it's right. I slept with my boyfriend now after 2 weeks, but before that I dated guys for 6 months or more and never felt comfortable enough to sleep with them. So it just depends on you and the person you are with.
I'm a firm believer in no sex before marriage so it would be however many dates there were before the wedding night.
Well you should be married of course!! I have known to many woman that go out with these guys and they sleep with them on the 1st -3rd date. Then they want to ask why can't I get a man to be with me. Well because if you don't respect yourself then who's going too? Not the men you just gave it up too. They got what they wanted now it's time to go packing. They don't have anytime to get to know who you are - or see if a relationship could develope. Take it slow - show him the real you - then when you are married it will be alot more special and you would have worked towards something. You're reward is your man - and his goodies.
Raindancer is right on the money~ Make a man earn you by showing self discipline, and the ability to prove he cares about you inside, and all that you are. When the time does come, the incredible bond you have will make it the most special intimate moment in your life!
sex is fun!
personally I give it away very, very soon. I'm cool with it I'm not a **** either. I just enjoy it. there's no right time. and the best thing that happen to me is that I've been in a relationship now for more than three years. we had sex the same day we met.
it is up to you and how, when and if you feel comfortable
I know many marriages that have ended bcuz they never had intimacy before the bells! (some relative cases)
what I think is if you feel like 'let's go' and you know you can handle it. go for it!
I also respect ppl who keep their virginity. :)
but it wasn't my scene!
Well, I'm pretty poor on this front. I used to give it away all the time.
With my current man I think we waited about 2 or 3 weeks before we had sex. Not my choice however!!
We never went on a single date though, just hung out a lot and played around before he would shut me off and go home..GAHH!! Come to think of it, we have never gone on a 'date' as such in the 4 years we've been together.
Ball park figure..... 5 or 6 maybe?? Depends really on when you feel comfortable enough with eachother I suppose.
Being a Certified Human Behaviourist Specialist consultant, I always find this question interesting. So I will answer this question a little differently..
First lets start of with monogamy. You might be surprised to discover that current research is showing that it was the male sex NOT female sex that. Males did this to ensure the woman was having their child and no one Else's. Human's are one of the rare mammals that practice monogamy. Notice that this information is about sex.
Next, the number one reason for divorce is SEX! Studies now show that 70% of women and 77% of men have extra marital affairs. When asked why, in most cases they love their spouse, but their needs are not being fulfilled in the bedroom. Some the reasons why are different value belief systems like what and what not a couple can do sexually. Some of this occurs because of lack of sexual experience, some because of their up bringing.
What we do know is sex is the single differentiator that separates all other relationships. If the sex is bad in a relationship, it will most likely end or there will be infidelities. In psychology we know you can not suppress your sexuality or it will come out in bad ways. Nature mad sex very important to us.
Now armed with a little knowledge, we can move forward to answer the question. One there is no magic number, it is all on how the two of you feel. I will make it VERY CLEAR, there is not right or wrong answer here. However, if you both wanted, but one party if holding back to make sure that the other party is worthy, that is called game playing and manipulative and is wrong. You should always go with what feels right.
it does matter if its on a 1st 2nd or 3rd whatever. But what I can tell you, it can destroy a relationship if you try to manipulate it.
For example, the woman waits 6 mths and then has sex and finds the guy is terrible in bed. But because she invested 6 months, she now feels obligated to try and make it work. So she will try to change him to make it work. The is folly, you CANNOT make people change, they only change because they want to. So the relationship ends. If you had sex on the 3rd date and it is bad, it ends right there. If it is good the relationship moves forward, but then the other things start coming into play, like communication, trust, respect, etc... if they do not develop, it too ends.
For those that wait until marriage, well, there is a lost of failed marriages , lots of infidelity . Waiting is not guarantee it will work. over half of marriages fail today, out of the 40+% that do stay together, most of those relationship are not good. Only about 5% of all marriages are amazing ones. Very sad indeed.
In my opinion you need to spend time to get to know each other and that very much includes sex, before you make marriage decision. The single most important decision you'll make in your life is who who chose to marry. Ask anyone who got divorced. Getting it wrong, can kill people, depr
.... depression, suicide, abuse, poor job performance, even criminal activity.. So be careful who you chose because most of us get it wrong.
If sex is not happening is a relationship, it is a indicator that things are not going well. So get counseling while it is early, before it is too late.
For the younger ones.. You need to experiment to find out what you like and don't like. This mention communication, how you like to be treated as well as what you like sexually, however this may change over time, so keep an open mind. Keep educating yourself and remember, try different things as you just never know and remember a couple that shakes it up in the bedroom from time to time stays together for a long time. Also remember to play safe.
You are where you are because of how you think. If you don't like where you are, you better change how you think.
If your value belief system is not working for you, you need to change it.
It is not a straight answer, but hopefully it gives you information to make a better decision on what is right for you.
I slept with my last boyfriend on our second date. I married the guy.
I don't have enough data to give you an answer. My wife doesn't like me dating.
It cracks me up when people refer to having sex with someone as sleeping with them. It's two different things. I slept with someone and didn't have relations with him. But anyway I usually make sure that person is on the up and up and doesn't have issues before I even consider something as intimate as having sex with him and that takes months not dates. Even casual acquaintances need to be "screened" to make sure he isn't some looney who's gonna stalk you or some other woman he's messing with gets you on cheaters.
it is about a couple feeling comfortable with each other
After the ultimate date: one wedding.
There isnt a magical number for me. My first was 7 months, my second was 2 years and my newest was 3 weeks.
Its all in what feel right to you.
What the both of you are comfortable with.
Definitely wait until you are comfortable with the person. Whether it's six months...three months...or just hanging out with the person and never conceiving you would be having sex with this person because they are a very good friend of yours. I waited 6 months before having sex for the first time, but it was worth it...I'm glad I didn't wait until marriage because now I know what I want in a sex partner...a wholesome, genuine sense of integrity and companionship. Now it's just a matter of time until the right guy comes along and marries me...and if not, too bad :)~~
In my life, I've heard all sorts of answers to this question, from as low as 1, to 3-4 being a sort of "workable minimum number" to never, regardless of the number. I think you should wait until you are both comfortable, and it feels right, otherwise, it's not gonna be very good, no matter what dogma you happen to adhere, or not adhere, to..;)
first is magical. When you don't know her name better. When you marry her best.