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How messed up is this situation?

I guess I'm still pretty confused. I've just started dating this really nice guy but I'm chatting online with my ex. The one who choked me last year. Is that bad or do you think it's just something I have to do in order to put him behind me? I told him I'm dating this guy .... and he's dating around too ... so... I just don't know. Advice appreciated.

Posted 5 months ago

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foreverbelieving

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Follow your heart.
What more can I say? No matter what we say on here, you are going to make your own decision about your ex (and your current bf for that matter). Sometimes, even when we know it is the wrong decision, we hold onto people in our lives. I think the best thing for you is to walk away, and what better time to do it than when you can focus all your energy on your new man! He physically hurt you, he does not deserve a second chance with you. But you need to decide this for yourself, because you will only do it if you want to.

Stay strong & good luck making this decision. x

Posted 5 months ago

Other 8 Answers to How messed up is this situation?

hurldog	Posted May 28th, 2009 at 5:58PM OceanicDebris......Dimwit. Why would you suggest that someone communicate with a man that tried to CHOKE them. Also, if you are so into "communication", why did you block me? Rated: +3Vote for this!
smartchick1	Posted May 28th, 2009 at 4:51PM Chatting with someone online is not cheating. Do you feel guilty about talking to your ex online while dating a new guy? Unless you and the new guy are exclusive, flirting with others is perfectly acceptable. What you REALLY should be questioning is why are you friendly with someone that tried to choke you? :O Cuz that IS messed up Rated: +1Vote for this!
AnitaBath	Posted May 28th, 2009 at 5:15PM Typically if you really want to put someone behind you, you don't communicate with them. Tell him you wish him well and that he never hurts anyone else but you need to put him behind you and will not communicate with him again. Hopefully he will learn that it is never acceptable to physically harm another human being (unless of course is in self-defense). Rated: +1Vote for this!
wiseowl	Posted May 28th, 2009 at 5:53PM Get honest about what you are doing. You're not over the choaker. If you trust him now, try to get back together. Don't mess up the nice guy. He doesn't deserve it. You haven't thought this thru at all. Be wise and careful. Rated: +1Vote for this!
OceanicDebris	Posted May 28th, 2009 at 4:43PM First off I want to say hurldog you are a complete idiot. Secondly, It is not a bad thing that you are communicating with this ex online but do not forget what he did to you. I would hate to see him convince you to come back because he changed, blah blah blah, and then hurt you again. Be strong and if you feel yourself being reeled in by him run! Be safe! Rated: +1Vote for this!
hllbllygrl	Posted May 28th, 2009 at 4:37PM Do yourself a favor and let the ex go! Something about women makes them think bad guys are good, but honey, if he choked you, chances are he did it because he wanted to control you. I'd stop contact with him immediately, because there's just no telling what he may do to break up you and your current boyfriend, and if he feels he has lost you for good he may do something even more drastic! Rated: +1Vote for this!
dartist	Posted May 28th, 2009 at 4:37PM Please do not think about any relationship or friendship with any man that has tried to harm you! You might ask yourself why you are still drawn to a man that harmed you in this way? He does not deserve one minute of your time! Would you want your best friend in contact with a man that choked her? Your mother or sister? Then why not a better man for you? This former boyfriend will not change unless he goes for counseling and works out why he hurts women. Give the nice guy a real chance and let the abuser go! He doesn't deserve you! Rated: +1Vote for this!
emotional	Posted May 30th, 2009 at 2:36AM I would say its pretty very well messed up. Not talking bout you talking to the choker. But that theres an innoncent 'nice' person who could get their feelings hurt. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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