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How much do you tell a child when you are leaving your spouse?

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    Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):

    JustPlainBarb - 56-60 years old - female

    Posted by JustPlainBarb Oct 23rd, 2012 at 2:21PM

    You could tell them that you two are not happy and think that living separately would be better for both of you. They'll already understand that probably.

    You DO make sure that they know it has absolutely nothing to do with them!! Kids often feel guilty when their parents break up. It's crucial that they know both parents love them just as much as always and will continue to be consistently in their lives.

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8 Answers to "How much do you tell a child when you are leaving your spouse?"

  1. BamPow - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by BamPow Oct 23rd, 2012 at 2:24PM

    I was on the child's end of that conversation. I think your best bet is to be as honest as you can but stop at the line where you would be speaking derogatory of the other parent. Putting kids in the position where they feel like they have to choose which parent to love is devastating. You need to avoid that at all cost, and your focus should be on managing this in the way that puts the least amount of pressure on the kids as possible. If there is any way you can pull it off, both spouses should present a calm and unified front to the children if the split is mutual and you can remain civil to each other.

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  2. misery22 - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by misery22 Oct 23rd, 2012 at 2:23PM

    depends on the child's age. try to keep it civil and make sure the child understands that is not about them but you and your spouse. and that you still love them.

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  3. Lauraleedee - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by Lauraleedee Oct 23rd, 2012 at 2:23PM

    MAKE SURE the child understands that you're NOT leaving them! You love your child so much (a child should be with their mother!) and the child didnt do anything wrong!!!

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  4. Avante - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by Avante Oct 23rd, 2012 at 2:22PM

    I would not tell him everything, only the basics, 'your father and I are breaking up and he is moving out'. This is so the child can make his own decisions when he is more mature rather than the child being bitter towards one parent due to the influence the child has had from the other, which can ofter make the kid unstable. A balanced relationship with both parents would be best.

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  5. daviesgirl - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by daviesgirl Oct 23rd, 2012 at 2:22PM

    That depends on how old they are.
    Basically be honest with them. Tell them that you are not getting along with each other anymore and even though you will be living in separate houses you will still love them as much and it is no ones fault that you are splitting up.

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  6. BabzEsq24 - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by BabzEsq24 Oct 23rd, 2012 at 2:22PM

    It must be age-appropriate - have a professionl on standby

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  7. elifree - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by elifree Oct 23rd, 2012 at 2:21PM

    depends on the age.

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