Not very often. I once bought flowers for my grandmothers grave and my dad told me I would be better off to sit them in the house and think of her instead. It doesn't mean I won't go, but they are always with me, I don't feel that I need to.
You know, I lost my mom when I was 26 years old and 2 months before I had my first child. So on the first memorial day without her, my sisters made the coolest thing. They took pictures of all the grandkids and placed them inside glass jars. Then they took colored rocks that you buy for fish aqauariums and placed that inside, behind the picture. Then they put the lid on and tied a beautiful bow around the top. Then they took sea shells and hot glued them to the lid with the kids name on top. They laid them out on the grave. The first jar, instead of having a picture in it, had a sheet of paper that said, We Love And Miss You Grandma. Then we lined the 6 jars up beside it. It looked beautiful. And I found a picture fr<x>ame with a saying on it that goes something like this: Remembering back to when I was 3 the times we played you and me. Then it talks about how I was just a teenager and to old to look up to her. Then as I became an adult I knew all I ever wanted in life was to be just like her and now I hold a child's hand of my own. Something to that effect. When my dad died, I found a beautiful card for dad's and fr<x>amed it and I set it out with my mom's every memorial day too. As you can see, I'm not much into flowers. sometimes, but not to much. Hope this gives you a couple ideas. Hugs during the sad times.
I don't visit graves at all. I agree with PS. My father described it well when he said his body is like a wet sweater he couldn't wait to take off. It is just the soul's interface but not the person or the soul.
not often, but if i'm driving past and have time, i will stop in and have a look and a quiet word