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Since my husband got a promotion and subsequently a pay increase my sister has become petty and difficult. She has made various comments about my husband's salary and our financial situation. Unfortunately, she is grossly over-estimating our financial situation. If we were to compare net worth I'm sure she would come ahead but frankly that's not the point. It's nobody's business how well the other is doing. I'm happy that my sister has done well and I don't understand why she wouldn't be happy for us. I'm undecided whether I should address her jealousy with her or whether I should just distance myself and ignore her comments. Any ideas?
lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 6 Answers Mar 7, 2011

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Just ignore her. <br />
My wife's sister married a doctor who makes about 300k. <br />
I only make about half that, but it never bothered me or my wife.<br />
They recently got a divorce because apparently he wasn't spending enough time with the family. <br />
<br />
Money doesn't mean anything if you aren't happy.<br />
My guess is, if she's the kind of person who stresses over stuff like that, she's not a very happy person and probably isn't happy with her family. <br />
I wouldn't get upset about it. I would feel sorry for her and her family though.

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Say this: "I'm not making the money, my husband is. If I was on my own I'd be poor. You know what's better than being dependent on your husband? Making your OWN money and being successful on your own. Don't be jealous of me. Be jealous of my husband." To me it is far more admirable for a woman to make her own money than for her man to. I also have more respect for people who make money doing something original and inventive and creative than for people who make lots of money doing run-of-the-mill jobs. There are numerous rich people in the world and nothing is interesting about them, they are all the same and boring, with the exception of creative people. Why the heck is she jealous? I am not. Actually, I pity women with rich husbands who do not make the money themselves because they are living in his shadow and not making their mark on the world. I didn't marry a rich man, and I'm not rich. I married a man who is very likely to turn out rich by doing something unprecedented and I am the same way. Your sister has her pick of rich people to be jealous of, you are no different from them. I think that you should tell her the reasons why YOU admire HER. Show her no one has to be jealous of anyone. She can be rich too if she wants. She can do whatever she wants. In fact, he could lose his job and you could both lose all your money, there are no guarantees in life. Help her feel better about herself and show her she doesn't need to be jealous. *I* wouldn't be. My sister and her husband have more money than me and my husband, middle class. I'm not jealous because they are nowhere near as interesting and exceptional as me and my husband.

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LOL! I didn't marry my husband for his wealth, career of financial success. I could have certainly done better if I was looking for a free ride. In fact, I had more financially then he did when we got together. <br /><br />I am however making career sacrifices for my husband because, yes, he does make more money and he LOVES his job. I don't. Could I live on my own salary for me? Yes! Could I live as well as on my husband's? No! I have chosen to make the sacrifice for my husband's career but have no misunderstanding, it is a joint venture. We work as a team. <br /><br />I love the way you just got completely off topic and onto your own agenda. You are ridiculous!

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hmmmm Just don't let this get between the 2 of you as sisters. If you feel she's going too far, talk to her. Good luck!

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How does your sister know your husband got a promotion or a raise in the first place? Seems the two of you are petty. I would never discuss anything of that sort with my family knowing people can and will be envious I only discuss what is needed and what people can handle. The rest is private between me and my husband. Now you will have to bite your tongue, you are the one that opened the can of worms in the first place what did you expect, no one will ever want you to do better than them. It's unfortunate, because not everyone is like that. Learn from this and move on.

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I'm asking for advise not seeking your judgment. I am definitely NOT petty. Where did you get that?? You don't know me. You are just showing your ignorance.<br /> <br />My husband has been overworked and under-payed for a long time and I was happy for him. Unfortunately, in our family everyone knows what the other is making. Everyone is really nosy. BTW, my husband is not hauling in the big bucks. He's just finally being paid what the average engineer with his level of experience should be. It's just a middle class salary and I was happy that he finally got recognized. I too have been making sacrificing for his career. I moved across the country for him. So yeah, I'm a little invested in his success because it involved sacrifices from me.

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Whoa! This is not lagatta's fault. There is nothing wrong with sharing good news with your family!!! Or at least, there shouldn't be anything wrong with it! Her family should be happy for her! Not jealous! I have to deal with jealous siblings and it is ridiculous. Not all families are like this!

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I deal with the same garbage and its ridiculous. I want to share good news with the parts of the family that are normal and dont get jealous but i have to be careful and watch what i say when i'm around the jealous ones. How petty and immature is it that I have to do this? I should not be scared to talk about good things that happen in my life!!! I couldn't even show my sister my engagement ring because i was afraid it would look like i was bragging and she would get all jealous. And its been a year and she hasn't even bothered to ask to see it. How freaking immature and petty is that?!

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