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i have been married for two years and i was recently introduced to femdom by a friend online. i love my husband but physically hurting him and humiliating him excites me. i have tried light bondage and ice and tickle torture. i want to move a step higher. please help me out with ideas.
RashAsh RashAsh 18-21, F 38 Answers Jul 29, 2012

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You should avoid running into problems with him trying to “top from the bottom” by employing real corporal punishment in your relationship.<br />
Being truly dominant in a relationship is wonderful. You get to order you household as you wish and get to indulge your desires. <br />
I would recommend setting a very strict set of rules for behavior and back it up with corporal punishment. Violation of your standard should always lead to punishment and it should be as immediate as possible. This should be real punishment and be completely separate from sexual play. I would recommend picking a punishment instrument, and only use it for punishment, not for play. If he was punished as a child it can be good to use the same implement that was used on him back then, particularly if it was employed by his mother. However, never use your hand or anything too mild. Fortunately the leather belt has always been very common. One advantage is that you can always have it with you, downside is that it is very loud. You can upgrade it by buying a longer one at a big and tall shop. Thickness and length is key, and despite looks, a narrow belt is far more harsh than a wide one. It takes some practice to master but as long as you strike only from between the upper third of his buttocks down to the lower 2/3rds of the backs of his legs (or his upper back, being carefull not to hit his neck or lower back) you can strike as hard as you wish and beat him till you are satisfied and he is compliant. Depending on your need for discretion, you can have him install a hook in your bedroom that you can hang it from.<br />
I would recommend binding him firmly and beating firmly until his composure and reserve is completely gone. I would also highly recommend urinating on him after his first beating.

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My wife/mistress makes the rules and I must obey them without question. Non compliance however slight results in being punished.Like you suggest I am hung naked from a ceiling hook with a speader bar securing my ankles. She uses a whip and/or a riding crop and it is really painful. When eventually released I must kneel and kiss her feet telling her I am sorry for my mistakes and as her inferior I deserved to be punished.She has introduced her sister into my life as her slave,and I now have to obey them both. I can really say that my punishment is NOT enjoyable and I always do my best to avoid giving either of them a reason to punish me.I do now accept that as superior females they have the right to whip me as and when they choose.My wifes motto is....pain teaches obedience.Sometimes I am left for about an hour then whipped again on an already sore back, this hurts, but waiting helplessy for her return, knowing what she is going to do is also very unpleasant.

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wow

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everything you said is not even true.

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you are the luckiest man on earth bro. I wish i could be in your place

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you are the luckiest man on earth bro. I wish i could be in your place

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if I was your husband, I would have slapped you so hard you'd have landed in China..

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Only recently have my wife and I started getting into the kinky side of sex. We don't and won't go for the "her rules and punishment" thing. Our (and my) enjoyment is purely sexual. I am in a state of power of have control generally all day every day, so I find enjoyment in having her take control of the bedroom from time to time (I still enjoy being dom). It's like, my dark side. My dark side wants to be tied, ********, and dressed in her panties and clothes only to be abused and toyed with by her. We have several ******, varying in size up to a 2" x 8" (my favorite), and she enjoys ******* my ***. I practically will beg for it and hard. She is very new to this, and I only have visual experience for the most part. I want her to tie me and spank me as hard as she can, but we have yet to get there. Also, I keep fantasizing about her ******* me with a *******, but so far she thinks that will make her feel too manly. I enjoy feeling helpless and being her *****. It's such a turn on to think that she is punishing me for all the dirty thoughts I've had with her toys and her clothes. Currently, I'm still looking for a good guide to getting started in subbing to my wife. I wish she would have the fantasy of using a *******, but she will get furious with her ****** leaving my *** sore and gaping when finished. I dream of one day being tied and ****** for hours while she takes videos and pictures, spanking me, and abusing me making me *** repeatedly and force me to eat it every time. BUT, I want her to develop the want for it all, not just a little here and ***** there. Does anyone have a link to bdsm/femdom guide site? Maybe something that starts out chill and gradually gets more extreme? I don't want to push her away from this by too much "extreme".

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Try this for humiliation. Buy matching bikinis. When you go to the pool, you wear the top and bottom and your husband wears just the bottom. For added humiliation, spank or cane him before leaving the house. His skimpy bikini bottom won't cover his marked *** and everyone will know who's in control.

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The thing I enjoy most is ball stretching. You can use rope or you can buy a ball stretcher from a adult toy store.<br />
I love it It has a little pain but is so erotic. give it a try.

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if you have tried light bondage and ice and tickle torture and if he hasn't ob<x>jected to it then i would say you are on the right path. this means that he is ready to accept your dominance over him. try new ways of torturing him like tying his **** and balls tightly with a nylon rope (my WIFE/MISTRESS does this to me often) like a leash and lead him around the house on all fours. you could also deny him an ****** by teasing his **** with a feather or giving him a ******* and stopping just before he is about to ***. put him in a chastity device and order him to service your ***** orally. i do this to my WIFE/MISTRESS all the time.

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Your husband is lucky

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he must be shaved...waist to knees, he must eat his ***, either from you, or off of you, or you can feed him if you ********** him or if he jacks himself off (at your command)...a ball stretcher is a nice enhancement as is a chastity device (optional to you)...a great ball stretcher is the LARGE padlock from Home Depot (weights a ton) and you keep the keyHE MUST OBEY YOU AT ALL TIMES. I wear a ball stretcher and am never allowed to lie about it to any female...her sisters (9) love it, nor am I allowed to refure anyone who demands to see it....Her bridge friends and her sisters love it........are you wearing your hardware? if so show us....the girl that cuts my hair mentioned my discomfort as I sat down in her chair, I HAD to tell her that I was wearing a ball stretcher and admit that I couldn't refuse her demand to prove it....now, whenever I come in for a haircut, all the girls in the place ask me if I'm wearing, and demand to see it.....very humiliating, but very effective.....they all know that my wife is the BOSS!!

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What worked on me was consistency and following through on punishments. At first keep the rules few and strictly enforced. Add rules or expectations over time. <br />
I was easily conditioned that way because I wasn't set up to fail. When I did fail it was truly my fault and I knew I truly deserved to be punished. Being put in a closet or in a corner after being punished to think about things helped. After being allowed out of the closet or corner I have to explain my understanding of my need to be supervised, punished and rewarded to become a better me for her. <br />
It also helped me a lot that she constantly re affirms her love for me by explaining that her recreational infliction of pain, humiliation and denial is a very intimate ex<x>pression of her love for me. She makes me feel very special because I satisfy those deep needs to express sadism and control. <br />
To me keeping erotic BDSM play separate from punishment was important. Being punished should never be fun for the sub even if it is fun for the domme. <br />
To make it really part of you life and not just some unrealistic fantasy the domme usually takes very great care to educate themselves about the body and how to not truly damage the victim. I dont think most subs know the incredible responsibility the domme has. Many people write very sexy stories about living a BDSM life but many are unrealistic and lack love. <br />
My last bit of advice is to never let the sub "top from the bottom". That is not to say their thoughts and feelings are unheard or ignored but never let them have the final word. <br />
A full time relationship like this requires work on both sides and a lonely or neglected sub will eventually stray or leave.

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I like to pin my husbands wrists above his head with one hand and rub his nipples or tickle him with the other. I also pin his ankles with my feet while straddling him and pull his legs wide apart so I'm in total control. And he knows it. <br />
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Alternatively (From the above position) you could try raising one of his legs (or both) so his knees are against his chest while you straddle and hump him with his feet over you shoulders.

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Use your dominant position at all times.<br />
Firstly draw up a set of rules with one of the rules being that that this set of rules may be adjusted at any time, by mutual consent or by you alone. Get him to sign a contract, if you are aware of other Dominant females get them to witness his signature. <br />
Keep him naked or dressed as female when in your secure spaces. Ensure he sits on a lower seat than your seat where ever possible and when ever anyone else who is aware of the situation is present. Use him as furniture whenever you feel the need or whenever a situation may arise also allow other females who know to do the same.<br />
You must use him as a toilet (not necessarily scat) as often as is reasonable, he must then clean you with his mouth, he must be utilised for tampon changes at least once each month, he must be used to 'clean' your anal area (if only for psychological reasons).<br />
He should be utilised for all your feminine needs. Purchase of tampons, nail polish, wax/razors etc. He should be trained how to use these products for your convenience/satisfaction. Certain shoes should be set aside for him to clean orally in front of you and at your instruction, anything he does for you, including sensual/sexual acts are to be critiqued to make him aware of your requirements and for him to see how far he is from meeting them and to make him aware of how he is to improve. Failure to achieve an expected minimum standard is to be punished at a time convenient to yourself and in any way you choose, but there must be a physical element to this (whip, cane, crop) as well as (if required) emotional element. In order to make it clear who is the Dom and why you are the Dom, he is to be punished at a set time each week (regardless of other punishments given). This maintenance punishment is to be physical, emotional and to have elements of extreme humiliation. As previously noted the presence of another female Dom and her sub, especially if such sub is also female would add a certain piquancy to the proceedings.<br />
I hope this helps you (and him), please message me with comments re results and any improvements I may also incorporate.

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Sorry..this seems over the top.

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Starve him of what he wants most and then make him beg

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I happen to have a sweet little foot slave myself ;)

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As its hard work training one foot slave to behave perfectly .. at the moment I will have to decline.

But you may add me as afriend and chat

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You can tie his hands with a hand cuff and legs with a soft rope and before that as him to put socks and boots to your legs and kick him nicely.

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I'm a foot slave and I think the best way to dominate your husband is to make him horny at first, you can do this with every thing that make him horny for example a sexy wear or sexy act and etc. after that he is ready to be your slave and to do any things for you, mens mind are between their legs!

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you can start using your feet to get him excited. play with his thing with yur feet and see the result.

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Unless this is strictly for play, I'd suggest that you first find yourself to make sure that you are dominant. Also once doing this, making sure your husband is submissive. Unless you do that, you may find this won't work at all.

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First of all. Lock him into a chastity device (my wife has me locked into a kali's teeth device). You need to be in complete control of his manhood. And you don't need to let him out of the device when you want to play.

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You might also read: http://www.amazon.com/The-Mistress-Manual-Female-Dominance/dp/1890159190/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352471475&sr=8-1&keywords=good+girl%27s+guide+to+female+dominance

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I just saw your post , and its been two years since you wrote this how is your quest of dominating him going may I ask
Ana

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I am intersrested in this too..

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